Keep in Mind
by Robin Grimm
Summary: It's vacation time for the McDonald/Venturi clan! Casey and Derek are driving together and everything is going as planned until Derek gets them lost. They get into an accident. Both get amnesia from the head trauma and they assume they aren't related because of the last names. Will they ever see their family again? Will they regain their memories? Dasey. :)
1. Chapter 1

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter One

"Hurry up." She said impatiently, her back aching from their awkward positions.

"I'm trying," He bit back irritatedly. "Okay Case, I'm going to put it in DON'T MOVE."

"Ow! Der-ek! Now I'm bleeding you idiot." 20 year old, Casey McDonald yells.

"It's your own fault, I told you not to move." 21 year old, Derek Venturi replies.

"Ugh, lets stop, we are going to be late." She says after pulling herself up from under...the hood of the car. He finishes putting the battery in its inconvenient placement. He never really understood what was going through some of the vehicle manufacturers head, when they made the organs of beasty old things so unconventional but they didn't want to waste money on a mechanic to put the battery in.

"Fine." He grumbled. He didn't like to listen to Casey but sometimes he had to, like lets say she told him to breathe he wasn't stupid enough to hold his breath. He knew when to listen and when to rebel and just how to piss her off doing both.

"You know I should have done it. You don't know cars." Casey stated, while examining her bloody hand. It didn't hurt as much, but it did when that sharp plastic got caught on her sleeve and scraped her hand.

"Oh yeah and you do?" He asked nonchalantly, whilst hooking up the cables.

"More than you apparently, black goes on black and red on red, numbskull." She smirked. He could have said anything to make her hit him or tear his name into two like she so often does but he couldn't think of a thing when she was bent over the engine, putting the cables in the correct places.

Damn she had a nice a- WOAH, I need to get me a girlfriend! I was checking out my step-sister again for Christ's sake. But she did look nice that day, I didn't notice before but she looked pretty in light blue, it matched her eyes NOT that I looked into them so much that I knew their brightness and shininess but it WAS really hard not to notice, ooh especially when that fire sparked in them if I said something that got her all riled up.

"Are you going to gawk there all day or are we getting ready?" She asked me with her arms crossed and her foot tapping.

"Uh, yeah." Man that was lame.

"Shower? Brushed teeth and hair? Clean clothes?" Case asked like the perfectionist she was.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't going on a date." I replied slyly, I was getting my groove back, ugh but I thought the word 'groove', Casey was rubbing off.

"Ew, is that the only time you do those things?" She squeaked, man I lived for that stuff but I thought I'd go easy on her that night because she actually sounded freaked out.

"No but why does everything need to be so prepared with you MOM?" I asked not interested at all, I just needed an excuse to call her mom because she always acted like one.

"I don't like surprises, you know that." she answered like it was one of those physics questions about gravity and everything is all absolute and crap. I didn't comment, mostly because she didn't react to my 'mom' thing. I was actually disappointed, I thought she understood that I needed her reaction for me to take action in the first place, otherwise I seemed mean. "And DON'T call me 'mom'." She added viciously. There's my Spacey. I really needed to get a hold on my thoughts, all day it's been like that, I thought that when I put up my mental barrier I could live in mental peace. Whenever some little day dream or thought got past, I would have to painfully remind myself that if I let them run freely, I might have eventually liked her and wanted her, and everyone knew What I Wanted I Got but 'getting' her involved feelings and even worse, showing those feelings. There was always that little thing that made me depressed enough to stop the thoughts again though. The fact that she didn't like me back, not enough to even be a friend. Even if she did like me and I did not like to admit it but I was not good enough for her, she was smart and had everything going for her, she could be a doctor or a lawyer but if my hockey career didn't work out like I hoped, how could I help her out with all the bills and stuff? And YES if I had a chance with her I was going to go all the way, marriage, babies and all that junk!

"Your spacing out a lot today, you alright?" I heard her say beside me. We had already arrived at the Chinese Palace, and apparently I was just sitting there being an idiot.

"Yeah, just hungry." She just nodded to my response and got out. I followed. When coming up behind her I don't know why but I reached for her hand and stopped myself physically with my other hand. Oh my god, get a grip! I told myself walking faster, so I didn't have to look at her face I could just see her confusion. Her furrowed brows and one cheek slightly quirked up.

"Wait up, D." she called towards me. I did slow down only because she used one of my nicknames. Usually it's a mundane designation (or whatever the word is, I never really paid attention in school) but when Casey said my nickname (or name even), it sounded better.

Derek was being peculiar, he wasn't hungry because he just would've eaten something at our apartment on the way out. That's what he always did, even if we were just about to go eat! What a glutton. I could not come up with a good reason how it was physically possible for scrawny him to be able fit all of that food in his stomach, I swear he had seven stomachs like a cow or something. Anyway it wouldn't excuse his absence with the world, he looked lost in his thoughts almost, ALMOST because I knew Derek did not think OR feel, sometimes I could totally see him as a robot, or droid. It would explain why he didn't age since we were sixteen unlike me with smile lines beside my mouth, Jesus I was only 20! Ugh, there he went getting me mad by not getting me mad, if that made sense. I literally depended on his insults to get me through the day properly, it helped me think because of different perspectives and preferences, I was thinking of becoming a lawyer, like George except not like George and I just knew that Liz was going to kill me for not going environmental but I was thinking criminal justice. BECAUSE people who do bad things to good people should be punished and that applied to everyone, no matter how many times they tell you they are the exception to all rules. Sometimes I liked to pride myself by thinking that maybe Derek actually wanted to be friends but just didn't know how to only be friends with a girl who isn't a tomboy. I know he told me guys and girls can't be just friends but I think it doesn't matter your sex as long as you are always there for the other, in a non-romantic way that is and it's all you need. I mean was he's always there for me and I sort of like to think of him getting into a sticky situation but I was always going to be there for him, that's what family was for but we didn't think of each other as family so, it was friendship territory right? Right. Maybe I should try to be nicer to him and he will be nicer to me in kind. I hoped so because I didn't want to hate him but when the only things he planned were ways to make my life harder, it put a damper on our friendship. And I did like him, it was just he kept treating me like crap so I reacted like I would if I was Emily or Sam or Ralph. I got mad. I set him straight but he always had to make it worse by insulting something he shouldn't have, like my hair in the morning, or my klutziness, or when I was obviously acting different around a guy I liked, he just knew what I didn't like about myself and rubbed it in, jerk. There I go again! Good thing we did not have to discuss this stuff, I liked that about our relationship or whatever we had. We didn't need to talk about feelings and emotions or confusion on my part. We just bickered, it was nice, refreshing. I think we'd both be really lonely if mom and George didn't suggest that we shared an apartment during university. I would have probably called him and yelled at him for walking on the wrong side of the hall just to get an argument going.

On our little journey through the restaurant, to find the rest of the family we came across Emily and Sam, sitting alone...

"Enjoying your date?" I asked, mostly as a joke but Sam turned beat red. So I assumed I actually hit the bulls-eye.

"D, w-we can't just b-be friends?" Emily stuttered, sure sign that she had her pants on fire on a telephone wire.

"Uh, no." I replied, smirking. It was kind of awkward for me and Casey to find Emily and Sam on a date, I mean they were our best friends so if they got together, then... NOPE, I forgot to stop those thoughts.

"Your on a date?" Casey asked, obviously befuddled because she was just so dense and innocent, thinking that nothing happened behind closed doors. It was cute.

"NO!" Sam yelled a little too loudly and quickly. "I mean we were just, hanging out is all." He said looking down at his plate, I couldn't see how being so shy was sweet to girls. But for Sam it worked I guess. Casey looked at Emily, with that (I'll hound you all night on the phone like silly girls do if you don't spill) look.

"Yes, we are on a date." Emily said, her shoulders shrugged down like she gave up the secrets to world domination.

"Em!" Sam whisper-yelled confirming their relationship when he used her nickname.

"That's so cute!" Casey squealed pinching Sam's cheek and hugging the now, standing and relieved Emily. Not that it wasn't weird for them to get it on but they did seem like they would last, and they looked happier now that we knew and they could hold hands and do gross couple things.

"Get back to sucking face," I said to Em and Sam, then rubbing my stomach with puppy dog eyes. "I'm hungry Case." She looked at me and laughed, maybe my puppy-face wasn't working anymore?

"That rhymed!" Laughed Casey, she was such a lunatic but I smiled anyway because it WAS an unplanned funny thing. An it's-funny-but-I'm-actually-serious smile.

When we got to the table, after our encounter with the happy couple everyone was there, Ed, Lizzie, Marti and the rents. Ed looked taller from last summer and Lizzie looked more grown up. Marti was still adorable but obviously older, and Dad and Nora well they looked old(er). I turned my head to Casey beside me and she looked more beautiful over the years, she aged like fine wine. Fuck, that was sappy. She had laughter lines near her mouth and they made her look happy even when she wasn't smiling. God, I could kiss her BUT that was that inappropriate thinking again. We sat.

"Hey." I said, to mainly everyone. They just greeted me as usual, nods and salutations but Casey being Casey just had to hug everyone for her hello.

"Did you order yet?" I asked, disappointed I wasn't getting a hug and turning to the only thing that could make me happy. Food.

"Nah, we just arrived a few minutes before you, did you see Emily and Sam?" Ed replied.

"You mean the gross couple fest just over yonder?" I asked looking over to said couple and pointing my finger towards my out stretched tongue.

"Can't you just be happy for them?" Casey asked annoyed.

"I don't care if they are a couple or not, they just don't have to be so hand holdy in public. Yuck." I answered still holding my face in a (what's that smell) look but that soon changed when our waiter finally came by. Finally food.

After our dinner, all of us said our goodbye's and I hugged everyone again. Though I just did before dinner also. Mom and George told us when they were leaving and where we were going to meet. We were all going on a vacation to Vancouver, BC. We were going to take the route suggested by Google. It took us through the United States, past Minneapolis (which is where we were going to meet and rest) then the next day finish the drive. I was packed and ready to go. I didn't know if Derek was though, so I was going to have to look over his suitcase when we got back home.

"I can't wait for the mountains." I said to Derek, when he drove us home. He smirked but said.

"Yeah, me too Case." He probably couldn't wait for mountain girls but it still didn't effect my excitement. This was going to be awesome but I had a feeling things weren't going to go as planned. Living with Derek for so long I suppose that is to be expected.

The next morning, I woke up at 6. Showered, got dressed, tamed my mane and made pancakes for Derek and myself (in that order). I felt so good that I made some chocolate ones too because as unhealthy as it was those were Derek's favourite.

"Something smells good." Speak of the devil.

"The ones on the left are chocolate." I stated not feeling like downing my mood by bickering so early and on such a good day.

"My favourite? Thanks Princess." He said as he grabbed a plate from a cupboard. When we sat down he smiled, a real smile no smirk. "Good morning."

"Morning Derek, do you like them?"

"They'll do." He teased.

"Jerk." I said playfully.

"Klutz." He countered quickly. "They are good though but don't tell anyone I said that because I'll deny it until my grave." I just smiled at the compliment, that was as sweet as Derek got so I didn't reply with a snide comment, I asked.

"You packed?"

"Get off my back woman, I did it last night."

"Just like you to wait until the very last minute, you procrastinator." I observed.

"Yes, and I am proud that I'm being recognized for the fact." He said as if he was accepting a trophy of some sort.

"Dork."

"Nerd." He said between bites. He finished before I did but he surprised me by eating what I had left and grabbing my plate to wash.

"Thanks, Der you should get changed soon we have to leave by 7. I'm going to start loading my stuff into the car." I declared, getting up from the table and making my way towards my room.

"Kay!" He bellowed making sure I could hear.

Wow, Casey made me pancakes. Not just pancakes but my favourite. She WAS excited. Her pancakes were awesome. As I was finishing the dishes I heard humming. Was Casey humming? Since she was in such a good mood I thought it could only make my day better if she wasn't nagging. So I helped her with her luggage and she helped me in kind. I hoped she would let me drive but of course, she only let me drive to the gas station, where we or SHE switched seats but I didn't blame her. My driving wasn't so good, sure she was super cautious but I had the Venturi gene, and it rendered me very unsafe for long distance trips.

"Fill." I said to the service guy. "Are you getting some stuff for the road?" I asked Casey as I handed her a 20 for my half of the gas.

"Yeah, you want some chips?" She was being really nice, letting me eat chips and all.

"Sure do, on you though." I replied, she rolled her eyes but didn't reject it. Sweet!

"Your girlfriend is pretty." Service guy acknowledged.

"Hands off and she's not my girl." I joked. Except for the last part, _obviously_. Service guy just laughed and started to fill up the prince. I looked towards the convenience store window and seen Casey pointing towards a bag of chips. It wasn't my favourite but I nodded anyway. She was buying me chips, so I wasn't going to complain. I was so ready for the vacation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Two

"Grab the map, I don't know which highway I'm supposed to take." Casey ordered.

"As you wish, your highness." Derek answered sarcastically but grabbed the map out of the glove compartment anyway. "I think it's the one on the right." He added. "Wait!" He shouted causing Casey to swerve some.

"Der-ek! You know your _not_ supposed to yell that to the driver!" She warned. Her heart was pounding because she thought there was someone on the road she couldn't see.

"Sorry, it's just I meant you need to take the middle one." Derek instructed, feeling his heart come back up from it's plummet to his gut.

"You'd think after five tries your brain would have memorized that handbook." She snapped, pulling into the correct lane. He glared at her but just took his jacket off slowly, so she could see. "What are you doing?" She questioned looking over to the passenger seat.

"Taking off my jacket, genius." He answered continuing to take off his leather coat.

"_Why_ are you taking it off? It's isn't even hot in here."

"Because I don't want it to get dirty when you crash." He explained like she was an infant.

"Don't be such a dummy. I'm a very good driver." She boasted, obviously ticked at his insult. He couldn't argue with that, so he let her win as silently as he could. Turning on the radio and blasting the tunes. "Turn it down, I need to concentrate." She stated not even giving him a glance but turning the volume to a more suitable level.

"I thought you were a 'very good driver', Case." He protested while using his 'Casey' voice to mock her own words. His reverse psychology worked and she sent daggers his way and turned the stereo up. _Sucker_ he thought.

Grr, Derek is being a jerk again. And here I thought that maybe we could be friends. Nu-uh. My driving was excellent! Superb, even! I could handle a measly little raise in volume. I loved music. We were listening to some rock station and the music was pretty decent until one of my favourites came on. I couldn't help but sing along, that's what I always did. It was 'Pour some sugar on me' by Def Leopard. It didn't seem like my style but my dad always loved it for travelling. I started tapping the wheel, bobbing my head and whispering the lyrics, so Derek couldn't see I was actually enjoying myself. I could see out of the corner of my eye, his hand tapping against his leg. He liked this song too? Cool. I mean NOT cool I can't have something in common with Derek! So I stayed still for about three seconds and my body started to move to the beat again.

"You like this song?" Derek pointed out incredulously.

"Yeah, Def Leopard rocks!" I admitted, not realizing my reaction wasn't what I wanted it to be. "I mean, they're alright." I scoffed as if I didn't just say otherwise.

"It's okay to like the same thing as me, Casey. It's not the end of the world." He replied.

"The Derek Venturi and Casey McDonald liking the same thing is totally a sign for the end of the world, Der." I blurted. "But did you know that their drummer has only one arm?" I wondered.

"Of course! That's awesome right? I wonder how he keeps up. I mean Ralph couldn't handle a beat as fast as that dude and he's got both his arms." He pondered and it really looked like he was thinking but then I laughed and thought, how funny is that? Derek _thinking_? "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, just the thought of you thinking is all."

"Ha-ha, but seriously can you imagine?" No, I couldn't imagine it. It must have been hard to do simple things like button up a shirt or tie his shoe laces but when I thought more on it, he didn't seem like the type to wear a button up shirt or laced shoes. So I didn't worry too much. And I did worry even about strangers I never met. It was just in my genetic code or something to that effect.

"No, I can't. I've got a Def Leopard CD if you want to stop listening to the radio, though." I said pointing towards the CD holder on his visor. He laughed.

"No way I've got one in this car too!" He said while he was looking through it and pulled out both. "Case, look." I did and laughed when I seen him holding up two identical Cd's. Well almost identical, mine was more well kept. He popped in mine and we listened to it all the way to Minneapolis. Maybe I could be friends with Derek, when no one was around, we could get along. He isn't always a jerk. Maybe just maybe.

Casey and I liked the same band. And just to make it even weirder, when we talked about them we got sidetracked and I found out that she liked quite a few of the bands I liked. Especially the Bare Naked Ladies. Those guys were awesome and it was awesomer (I don't think that's a word) that they were Canadian. Since I had one of their CD's also, I suggested that we listen to that when we left the next day.

"Here, we are." Casey declared, pulling into the breeze way of the hotel our family was staying at. Finally, when she turned down the music because we were in a city, she also turned down the fun.

"When do we eat?" I asked when I jumped out to grab my suitcase.

"Is that the only thing you think about?" She counter-asked. No, it wasn't. I thought of girls (mainly Casey), hockey and video games. Not JUST food, but it was the first on the list (usually). "Oh, wait I know what else fits in your little brain," She laughed holding out her hand to count the other thought topics. "Girls," Her thumb. "Hockey," Her index. "And games, right?" Her middle finger. It was really a wonder that she could have me figured out and not notice that I liked her. A lot.

"I'm a simple man." I concluded. She giggled and rolled her eyes. Probably at the man part. I could read her like a book as well. Lifting out my suitcase that wasn't all that heavy and pulling it over my shoulder, I started for the automatic sliding door but didn't hear her little wheelie suitcase behind me. When I turned around, I seen her standing beside it. Smiling. The vixen, oh there I went with my thoughts again, she really rubbed off.

"This _one_ time, McDonald." I warned, walking over to her, grabbing the handle and stalking off towards the doors again.

"Thank you Der, I'll go see George and mom, to find out which rooms we will be staying in." She said while prancing down the hall like a twelve year old. But it made me smile at her retreating figure.

"I'm with Liz and Marti in 201 and your in 203 with Edwin. Dinner is at six, we are going to eat it at the hotel restaurant.

"Okay." I muttered, bummed that I had to room with Ed. It had nothing to do with not rooming with her. Nothing.

After showering, and finding a good pair of socks and clothes that matched (somewhat). I was ready to go.

"Ed, come on. It's just family." I whined through the bathroom door. Ed always liked being proper when going out. Sometimes I wondered if he was adopted, we were nothing alike.

"Yeah but did you see the hot waitress?" He enquired, slightly muffled through the door. Oh, that was why he was spending so much time in there. Maybe we were related after all. I didn't see the waitress, probably because Casey was around.

"No, is she blonde?" I asked, when he came out, looking slick.

"Red head." He said and she immediately became just a little less interesting. I only went for blondes but obviously _that_ has changed over the years.

"Let's go, knowing Casey, the girls will be waiting already." I advised glancing at the clock and fixing a cuff on my long sleeve. I grabbed the key card and headed out, walking slow enough for him to catch up but just fast enough for it to see like I wasn't waiting. I really had no idea why I did things like that but I did. Ed caught up and pushed the elevator button.

Was Derek never on time for anything? I was chatting with George and he said that when Abby was pregnant, he came out a day late. Even when he was a baby he couldn't keep a schedule.

"Miss me?" He cockily said.

"Jeez, it's like beetle juice, we said his name too many times and BAM! Here he is." I said feeling proud of myself for actually saying something smooth.

"Impressive Case, I'm rubbing off on you." Yuck, maybe I shouldn't be so proud. Next thing I knew I'd be playing hockey and starting to get tickets on a weekly basis because of my bad driving.

"Now, now let's just enjoy our meal, bicker free please." Mom interjected. I had to listen to mom, she was pregnant. Everyone knew not to argue with a pregnant woman.

"Okay." I agreed. Derek rolled his eyes and sat down but didn't comment. I looked over the menu and decided I was going to have the 'Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken'.

"What is everyone going to have?" Asked George.

"Fettuccine Alfredo," I said in unison with Derek. "with chicken." I added. "with shrimp." He added. We just glared at each other.

"Chicken is way better than shrimp." I challenged.

"No way, shrimp always wins." He countered.

"Chicken."

"Shrimp."

"Chicken."

"Derek. Casey." Mom warned drawing out our names, like we were chihuahua's that were in trouble.

"Sorry mom." I said, still glaring at Derek but he broke the blinking contest by apologizing also and looking at my mom. "Yeah, sorry Nora." Strange. The waitress, a cute red head, came by taking our orders and giving us some water. Edwin eyed her up but not all noticeable, even if I noticed. I nudged him with my foot but Derek was the one that looked at me with a funny look. Oops. I pointed at Edwin and he didn't do what I thought he was going to do, (which was nudge me back or comment on it) he just nudged Edwin's shoulder for me. I wondered if it was just his stomach that was clouding his judgement but he didn't look all that hungry when we got our food. I sat across from him, eating my grub (OMG, I thought 'grub'! Derek was rubbing off!) and I analyzed him through out the meal. Feeling full I pushed my plate in but something was off. I looked down at my plate and realized that no-good waitress gave me the wrong plate! I was eating Derek's dish and he, mine. Oh jeez. It was kind of funny that we both didn't notice it. So I laughed.

"What's so funny?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. I couldn't even say anything, so I just pointed at his plate. He looked down and it took him a few seconds but he started to laugh too, and it made me laugh even more.

"What's so funny?" Edwin echoed but he looked at Derek and me and started to laugh himself. Edwin being the funny one in the family, the rest began to laugh too and the meal ended on a happy note.

"What were you laughing at, downstairs?" Liz interrogated.

"Oh nothing." I stated.

"Well whatever it was, it must have been hilarious for both you _and_ Derek to be laughing at it."

"Yeah it was, and what do you mean? Me _and_ Derek?" I asked mocking her emphasized 'and'.

"You guys don't get along that well, you don't like the same things, you don't find the same things funny." She said all observational.

"We got stuff in common." I murmured accidentally.

"Really like what?" She asked sarcastically.

"We have the same taste in music, we don't like cheaters, we both like to be on top and-"

"So your friends now?" Marti interrupted.

"You _could_ say that but we still have WAY too many differences to be good friends." I replied. It made me sad that we couldn't over come our differences and just be great pals. We just clashed too much, he was popular I was a nerd, he liked Gym in high school I liked English. But I always felt a spark when we argued about this and that. I could feel the fire burn when we were toe to toe. I could be not so perfect when he got me mad and it made me feel relieved, kind of, sort of.

"Sometimes you don't need to have anything in common with someone and you just click." Marti said, I could see then, why Derek always went to her for advice.

"I-I guess." Was all I could stammer and I changed the subject. "So don't you think it's time for bed?" I squeaked a tell tale sign I was lying or uncomfortable. Marti just gave me a long look, making me sweat and gave a glance to Liz.

"Yup." Agreed she. Phew.

Who would have thunk me and Case could laugh at the same thing, I thought as I lay on my double bed. Ed was on his, already snoring away. Ed farted in his sleep, not the best roomie but it was better than having Casey (and I didn't think it was sexy!) nag me about brushing my teeth and doing all those Casey things before going to sleep. LIKE I could sleep with her just a metre away! What a laugh.

"You thinking about Casey?" Ed said startling me. I didn't know he woke up.

"W-what?" I asked, just realizing his question. "No!" I sputtered. Damn now he knew.

"Oh come on D! I see you look at her every time you think no one is looking."

"Well, obviously I wasn't doing it right." I said before I could shut my mouth. SHIT.

"Ha! I knew it. I knew you'd start to like her." Well since he knew, I guess I had someone to talk to now.

"I didn't start to like her. I always liked her."

"I know."

"You KNEW!" I shrieked, that was not very manly. "Since when?" I whispered.

"Remember WAY back when they first moved in?"

"Yeah."

"Well you were always the first to talk, or fight with her. You ALWAYS started it in the beginning."

"I-I did?!" I asked. I must have sucked at hiding my feelings back then.

"Yeah, you did. Then you put up this 'jerk' facade because she is your step-sister and your scared." I thought Marti was the one who knew me best, I guess it was Ed this whole time. "Marti was the one who told me. If your wondering." Does EVERYONE know what's going through my head? "She was really young but she is the best judge of character. She said 'Smerek doesn't know how to treat a princess right. Does he?'. THAT'S when I noticed. Plus you made it obvious afterwards by giving her so many nicknames, you never did that with your girlfriends." My face must have been beet red at that moment but luckily for me it was pitch dark. I couldn't even register that my Smarti knew about it and told Ed. They were okay with it?

"Is it weird?" Was all I could ask, I didn't even get mad at him or anything 'Derek' should have done.

"No, bro. It's not. She's pretty." That ticked me off a bit, I didn't like her for her looks. I liked her for everything else too. When we met, I didn't think a brunette could handle me, so I guess I liked her personality first? She was strong, she didn't need me to protect her but I wanted to anyway. She was independent and could take care of herself and it made her all the more likeable. But she _was_ pretty.

"I don't just like her looks, per say." I revealed.

"Oh, I know. I just wanted to get your head reeling," What an ass but the thing he said next blew me away, made me feel unashamed and stupid for not expressing myself earlier. He said nonchalantly. "Go for it, bro."

**A/N:** This is dedicated to my first reviewer. Hope this chapter shows up today because I posted it at 10pm. I work best at night.

RG


	3. Chapter 3

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Three

Derek couldn't sleep because he was (and would never admit it) excited to finally tell Casey how beautiful and perfect he thought she was. He tried his best to put his worst possible case scenario: She didn't like him back, in the back of his head. He kept thinking about how or where he should tell her. He was terrified of rejection but ever since Edwin had his back, he felt more at ease. So he put a lot of thought into it. More than when he planned pranks. Movie dudes usually did it in a variety of places BUT that place usually had something to do with how they met or when he fell in love or her favourite place. He remembered when they first met, back in high school he played that stupid prank with the help of Ralph, he didn't think that would help his case. He felt like such a sap. But it was the only way he could totally capture her heart (what a sappy thing to say). He knew she was going to have doubts because they were step-siblings and all. He remembered when the idea first came into his head about him (loving) liking her, when he put up the mental barrier so he could deny those thoughts. It was when he CONSCIENCOUSLY knew he liked her. The first time she ripped apart his name into two perfectly screeched syllables, he smiled. He really liked it when she did that, so much so that he needed a nice _cold_ shower later on, when he thought about it again. He didn't think this would help his case either. So all he had left was her favourite place. He didn't know what her favourite place was, how could he figure it out? He could just ask her but that was too simple and for as long as he knew Casey, anything that involved her was never that simple. Unknowingly to him, Casey was having similar problems but mostly subconsciously. She was sleeping and had a reoccurring dream of Derek, telling her he liked her. She would wake up every few hours, not remembering the dream but feeling happy. Feeling like a huge weight had been taken off of her shoulders. It relaxed her which made her fall asleep again and continue the vicious circle. For once Derek was going to wake up earlier than Casey.

"Good morning Liz, Marti." I yawned lifting my body, sleepily. I noticed that they weren't responding. Puzzled I got up and looked at their unmade but empty bed, I strolled to the bathroom but no one was in there either. I started to worry but then I heard Marti's laugh from somewhere nearby, out in the hall maybe? I threw open the door and walked out, not seeing Marti or Liz in sight, I felt like I was panicking. I came up with the worst possible situations in my head. When I turned to get my phone from my room, I only came face to door. Ah man, I forgot to grab the key card. I heard voices again, coming from Derek and Edwin's room. Oh that must have been where they were. Shoot. I knocked on the door, feeling like an idiot because I was locked out of my own room.

"Who is it?" Derek called through the door.

"House keeping, who do you think it is?" I called back. I heard muffled laughing from more than one mouth. The door opened. He stood there all dressed up and looking good. Not just good on the outside (which was a lot, NOT that I thought so...) he looked good mentally like he just had a eureka moment and he knew the secrets to the universe.

"Well don't you look good, bed head." He laughed. I had almost forgot that I just woke up. I must have looked like a train wreck.

"Thanks, jerk. Are Liz and Marti in here?" I asked walking past him into his somewhat messy room. It was actually pretty clean, for his standards.

"We are." Liz confirmed from what looked like Edwin's bed. "We didn't want to wake you, it didn't seem like you had a good sleep." She added looking worried.

"I'm fine but I just freaked out when you girls were missing so I forgot my card in the room." I confessed as I bit my lip.

"Sorry Casey, we didn't mean to scare you." Marti apologized.

"It's okay Smarti, Casey freaks out about everything." Derek stated behind me and oddly I didn't say anything about it because for one: it was true and two: he said it to Marti. "Well since the bride of Frankenstein has waken, let's get ready for breakfast." What a guy. He said it funny though, like the insult wasn't the topic, like he just wanted to get ready for breakfast but felt obligated to insult me. I didn't know how to take it.

"It's awoken." I corrected.

He didn't do anything with his face at all, like he was wearing a mask. I couldn't read him. Which sucked _big time_. I never seen him with a blank face before, not even when he broke up with Sally. Derek was being unpredictable and it unnerved me. He pulled me from my thoughts by instructing me to get ready in ten minutes, handing me my card and pushing me out the door. What was with him?

That was close! I invited Marti over to help me with the Casey problem. It still surprised me how she could help me with stuff like that. She was just a kid. She brought Lizzie along with her but that was fine even though I did not want tell the world about me liking Casey right then, the younger of the McDonald sisters could keep a secret. I started off by sitting them all on Ed's bed and saying that it was about Casey. Smarti, the little devil, she just grinned and winked at Lizzie. SO I guessed that I didn't really need to reveal my secret (that turned out to be not so secret) to them. Ed said they already talked about it enough last night and he took a shower, while I talked to the girls. Lizzie said that Marti told her when Casey started to date Sam. Then she said to treat her right and that I had her permission. Smarti's was the most colourful, she exclaimed 'FINALLY SMEREK.' I smiled and ruffled her hair, that she fixed immediately after. She then said that I had to tell her, marry her and have lots of babies.

"Now that she's gone, why'd you insult her, like twice?" Smarti accused in her 'puppy-that-peed-on-the-floor' tone.

"Out of habit." I was kind of ashamed, the best way to win over Casey was to be nice but there I was being a jerk.

"Smerek! You have to treat her like the princess she is!" Smarti ordered.

"K." I promised turning on the radio, so Casey couldn't hear us. Her room was beside ours.

"Yeah Derek, I know Casey. She likes guys that are chivalrous." Lizzie announced. "Be the prince to her princess." She suggested. They liked to pick on me and my (not so) secret revealing nickname, didn't they? I couldn't argue with Smarti though or Lizzie, she had good insight for a teen.

"Um, do any of you know where her favourite place is?" I asked quietly after Edwin finished his shower and plopped down beside Lizzie and Smarti on his bed. It was embarrassing asking advice of younger siblings and step-sibling, I was 21 but I still couldn't figure it out by myself? Lame.

"No." Ed answered.

"She didn't mention one to me. Sorry Smerek." Smarti replied. We all looked at Lizzie who seemed to be deep in thought.

"Sorry, I don't remember." She said, still scanning her brain and added. "I'll ask her though."

"But be cool about it, don't seem all suspicious and interrogative." Ed said, surprising me with his big words. He probably didn't have trouble in school.

"We brought up what has been going on between you two, with Casey." Lizzie pondered.

"Yeah it didn't seem like she was ready. She isn't like all the others." I knew that, she was _nothing_ like the others. "She hasn't been in love with you from first sight, like you Smerek. Take things slow. I blushed at her report. Taking this slow wasn't my thing but Smarti told me to do it, so I guess that was the best thing to do. It really was a wonder where she got all this grown up advice from.

"Alright, let's go Marti." Lizzie said and with that they left. Ed went to ask Nora if they wanted to go out for breakfast or just stay in the hotel.

By this time I was exhausted by all the advice and new things I had to worry about. I felt naked now that my siblings knew about my biggest secret but then again, they always knew. I felt embarrassed that they could see through the insults, and replacement girlfriends. But I was glad that I could finally talk about what was really on my mind. It was so sappy though, talking about that stuff. Alone with the radio on, I heard a country song on. It was by some Randy Travis guy, the radio announcer it was called 'Messing with my mind'. Listening to the lyrics of it, I thought out loud. "You know what I'm talking about, eh Randy?" _I said one thing I'd never do was care._ I said that. _Or hang around for too long anywhere._ I did that. _I could always move ahead with nothing left behind, then you started messin' with my mind. _Yup and yup. Cue the incredibly country part that only applied to a select few and onto the chorus that was often applicable to everyone. _I can't believe how much my mind has changed._ Wow had it changed. _Or the way my life's been rearranged._ She did that the moment she let my dad marry her mom. _I swore one thing I'd never do, was be the staying kind._ I wasn't good at promising myself things, apparently._ Then you started messin' with my mind._ Well, country had more respect from me that day because it helped me put my thoughts in order but I had to bid Randy farewell when Ed returned.

"We're going out. No red head." He sighed. I nodded and fell back on the bed for a minute. I got up and fixed my hair. Food could usually occupy my thoughts more than girls. Mm, food.

"You look nice." Derek complimented, astonishing me.

"Was that meant to be condescending?" I asked almost checking his temperature.

"Condo-what?" It was so Derek, to not know the word of something he was on a daily basis.

"Never mind, and thank you" I was always polite, even to Derek. We started to walk towards the elevator.

"Where is Edwin?" I asked, glancing his way.

"Uh, he is just getting ready." He stammered, Derek stammering? Something was up but I couldn't think of what that something might be when Derek looked at the floor. He looked cute. Really cute and it freaked me out to think about it. I didn't feel like being in such close proximity with Derek in a cozy elevator, at the moment.

"I should take the stairs." We stated in unison. Our gazes met.

"I guess we're both going then." He replied.

"Yeah." I added. "It is healthier to take the stairs more often." Then we proceeded in walking in an awkward silence down three flights of stairs.

"So pancakes." He said.

"Yeah pancakes." I said scurrying through the lobby and out the door.

"You want to drive?" I asked after pulling the keys out of my purse.

"Sure." I handed him the keys and our hands touched. I felt my hand tingle a little. That was odd. Maybe I needed some sugar. I pulled an apple out of my bag and began to eat.

"You're already hungry?" He asked after getting into the driver's seat.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I hissed.

"I didn't mean-" He stopped and his eyes widened, realizing what he implied. "No, I mean nothing. I was j-just-" He mumbled looking sorry. Actually looking sorry made me forgive him.

"This one time Venturi." I said mocking him from the day before. It seemed to relieve him, make him smile and he started the prince. On the drive to the breakfast place, I wanted to hold his hand but then I objected that thought because _the prince was stick_. When I should have objected it by thinking _gross he's my step-brother._ My mind had been working funny that morning.

"Mm, pancakes." Derek smiled. We found Mom and George at a table near the bathrooms. "Sup rents?"

"Derek, Casey. You guys are on time for once. Edwin and the girls, for some reason are in the bathrooms." Mom said.

"All of them?" I asked.

"Yeah, they seemed suspicious." George included. I walked over to the girls bathroom. I heard voices in hushed tones. I couldn't tell what they were saying, so I leaned against the door. Little did I know was that it was one of those swinging doors and I fell right in.

"Ouch." The whispering stopped.

"Casey!" Liz yelled running over to me.

"Thanks, I'm fine. It happens a lot." I admitted getting up and dusting myself off.

"I heard some suspicious whispering." I accused slightly but Marti decided to change the subject.

"You look nice." She seemed to be trying to get something out of me but I couldn't imagine what.

"That's weird, Derek said the same thing. Do I really look that nice today? I didn't do anything different." I confessed touching my hair out of habit when people brought up my looks. Marti beamed and looked at Liz, who seemed to be smiling as well.

"You do look nice today, sis." Liz

"Thanks. Are you done in here?" I asked.

"Yep." Marti replied grabbing our hands and leading us towards our table. Everybody seemed to know something I didn't. Even Edwin.

"Smerek. Let's talk for a minute." Smarti ordered like the little drill Sargent she was. Once out of earshot she said proudly. "So you said she looked nice today."

"Of course. You told me to." I deadpanned.

"She still seems confused with her feelings."

"Yeah."

"You've got to take things slow. Don't rush her but I need you to tell her something before she forgets about your compliment this morning."

"What is it?" I asked awaiting her order. What a laugh, the Derek Venturi taking orders.

"I don't know. Come up with something." Oh no. I couldn't; I didn't pay enough attention to those romantic, mushy, cheesy movies that Casey always watched.

"I can't. Help me." I demanded.

"Smerek, your the oldest of us. Try getting by without my help."

"Fine." No reason to be arguing with my Smarti.

My mind was racing a faster than the speed of light and I didn't know how fast that was but still. I was sweating bullets when Marti gave me my vague mission. I needed Casey to know I wanted to compliment her but not to reveal my feelings so quickly. Fuck.

"Hey Case, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah sure, what's up?"

"I mean in private." I babbled.

"Oh." She got up from the table and followed me to a booth near the doors, just in case I needed to make a run for it.

"So what's on your mind, turpentine?" Oh, Casey will you ever learn?

"I've been acting different."

"I noticed." So she noticed? Does she already know then? What then?

"It's because of-" I didn't think I could get it out but it came. "you."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You told me that being a gentleman to the girl you liked, was the way to go."

"So...what your saying is." Come on, she was so smart. She must have figured it out. Her eyes widened. "You like this girl."

"Yeah I might even (mumble) her." I said purposely trying not to say it so loud.

"Pardon?"

"(MUMBLE) her." I repeated.

"One more time."

"Love her, damn it!" I exclaimed, standing up, then seeing the pointed stares, I sat.

"Whoa, you love her? So much that it has a butterfly effect on me? Wow, Derek. WOW." She was so dense, how can someone as brilliant as her, not get what I was saying?! "She must be a looker." 'You don't even know' I thought. Giving up I replied.

"Yeah, she's gorgeous."

"Blonde?" She wondered.

"Brunette. Blue eyes." I sighed, not looking into her eyes when I said it. I was feeding her all the clues but she just smiled. It looked forced though. "but I don't just like her looks, she's got one hell of a personality." I added, marvelling at the oblivious Casey. "she knows everything about me, she keeps me in line and is constantly and consistently nagging me about this and that but when it comes down to it she really is the one for me." I gushed, blushing.

"She turned you into a sap too."

"I know, I hate it but I wouldn't have it any other way." I didn't realize it but I rested my chin in my fists, like a teenage girl watching her crush by, and I immediately sat up straight. "Just thought you should know, that I am really being nice because I want to, not because I'm going to prank you or anything."

"Nice to know."

"Well, lets go eat." I said and we awkwardly walked back in silence, once again.

"Casey, can I ask you a question?" Lizzie asked Casey.

"Was that it?"

"No," Lizzie laughed. "Where is your favourite place?"

"What do you mean?"

"The place you like to be in the most."

"Probably, with Derek. I don't think I could tell him but I would be really lonely if we weren't living together."

"Oh, well I wasn't expecting that. What do you look for in a man?"

"What's with the twenty questions? And it would be for him to be chivalrous and nice, to everyone not just me. A real gentleman." This when Lizzie noticed her interrogation like questions and didn't continue with the onslaught. She went to tell Marti what she had learned before Derek and Casey could leave. But she didn't make it on time. So she texted Derek instead.

"Honestly Derek, I think nice Derek and I could be friends." I told Derek, looking over to the passenger side.

"There is no 'nice Derek'" He said, doing the air quotes.

"Awe. Come on! I like nice Derek."

"I'm not nice Derek, nice Derek is the new Derek." He said looking out the window and crossing his arms. Sometimes he still acted like a child. "I'm just Derek. This is who I am now."

"Okay, well then. I think you and I could become friends."

"Really? After all the things I did to you?" He pointed out.

"Now that you mention it.." I speculated touching a finger to my chin, as if thinking.

"No forget that. Friends?" He pushed his hand across the space between us and I took his hand and shook it. My hand tingled again. Was it Derek?

"I-I need you to um look at the map again." I stammered. He was looking at his phone like it was the most interesting thing on earth.

"Sure!" He replied all peppy. Was being my friend that cool? Cool.

"Take the one on the..." He announced drawing out the 'the'. "Left?"

"Was that a question or a statement?"

"Statement." Okay here we go. Off to Vancouver BC.

**A/N:** This is dedicated to someone, you know who you are.

RG


	4. Chapter 4

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Four

Derek and Casey arrived at what seemed to them, to be a line up of cars no big deal but there was no u-turn in sight. The step-siblings started to get a sense of where they ended up. Casey had to confirm they were in fact at the border, _before_ she blew up at Derek like Hiroshima. When the toll was within her vision, she turned her head slowly to the cowering Venturi male. Her glare pierced his abdomen and let his guts drop to the floor. He screwed up, again! She gave him a glare and he knew how bad he screwed up, he knew what she was going to say and he knew _when_ to apologize. Right then wasn't the time.

"Der-ek! How do you manage to keep screwing up?!" I paused for a millisecond as if actually waiting for an answer. "You ignorant jerk! You dumbie! Idiot! Stupid head!" I rambled while hitting his arm every damn syllable. I exhausted myself of steam quicker than usual, and sat back into my seat, arms crossed. How could he mess up a map THAT bad? Because he never paid attention when the situation called for it, that's why. He wasn't remarking or laughing or responding at all, it worried me a bit. "Derek?" I asked more calmly than I intended. He finally looked at me and I didn't see humour or amusement, I saw his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pulled into a grim line. He was _sorry_. I shouldn't have said those things. I felt like a dunce, he knew he made a mistake and was apologetic. I had to forgive him. He was my friend after all.

I turned my body towards him and shuffled my butt closer to the dash and faced him directly. I let out a sigh and began.

"Derek. Did or did you not know that we were heading back towards Canada?" He looked over at me and noticing my stature, straightened up.

"I didn't, I swear." He raised his hands next to him like I was a cop or something. My eyes softened, it was really hard for me to mad at Derek those past few days.

"Okay then. I forgive you but double-check next time your navigating."

"I'm really sorry Case. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention." He said looking down slightly. Cute, like a puppy in trouble.

"My dad, Liz and I travelled to Vancouver before. We went from Winnipeg though. I know the route. Your lucky, Venturi." I explained, his body relaxed and he offered me a smile. I accepted, of course.

Casey was explaining something about the directions and the different highways and something that involved the weather but I couldn't focus because she kept biting her lip. She did that when she was uncertain about something and I couldn't stand it! (It was so damn sexy). My mind felt less like a battlefield without having to consciously remind myself not to think those thoughts. Her hair was curled like it was everyday but I still had my breath taken away every morning, when came out of her room or bathroom deeming herself presentable. She always looked good, even if we weren't going out that day and we stayed home, she still took the time. Her cobalt blue eyes looked into mine but then her eyebrows furrowed and I finally came back from my dreamland when she said my name.

"Derek, are you feeling well?" She worried about me even though I put us like a day behind the others on what was meant to be 'the best vacation ever'. She was _so_ my type of gal. Ha ha, silly me and my Casey thoughts, pfft gal.

"Oh, er yeah I'm fine." The cars finally started moving. There goes my Casey-watching time. I shifted into second gear.

"You can drive, D. I'm scared you might get us lost again." She said it mockingly. I stopped to let her take the reins, so to speak.

"Ha-ha. Which road do I take? Sister dearest." I said to piss her off, slightly. But instead of the reaction I was looking for, she surprised me with.

"The next exit, brother dear." It felt almost like she stabbed me in the heart but of course since she _was_ Casey and I never liked (loved) her more than when she added. "_Step_brother dear." God, I could kiss her.

"Let's listen to some music." I suggested before my body could pounce from my seat to hers.

"Alright." She agreed, pulling at the visor.

"Wait! Do it slowly!" I warned too late. The CD's fell onto the car floor. Some fell near my feet but the majority was on her side.

"Oh shoot." She started to pick up the one's on her side and slid them back into the visor sleeve. I reached down and patted where I thought the CD's had fallen.

"I can't find em"

"Oh I got it." She said taking off her seat belt and leaning over. Her shirt was modest but when she leaned over I got a view I shouldn't have seen while driving. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on the road but to no avail. Then she did something that made me pretend I needed to stop at the next gas station to pee. She touched me.

Touch is a very strong word. She kinda brushed my leg (WHY did I wear shorts that day?) but it was enough. I nearly hit the ditch.

"Was there something on the road?" Casey screamed, straightening quickly. I cleared my throat, I could still lie to Casey right? Wrong.

"Uh yeah a er-" I mumbled nervously under her gaze. "bird?" I squeaked.

"You should have just honked the horn." She stated, pulling her seat belt on. I exhaled the breathe I didn't know I was holding and I quickly pulled into a gas station. "We have enough gas." Casey said looking at the dash.

"Bathroom." I said before hopping out of the prince and sprinting into the convenience store.

Her wrist brushing my ankle area slightly kept running through my thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking about that zap I felt when her skin met mine. I bet her lips were even better but I had to control myself, I had been doing it since I was sixteen after all. I could wait until she was ready to accept me. There were no _ifs_ about it, she was going to fall head over heels in love with me, if I had any say in it whatsoever.

He walked back all cool-like. He always had been a calm, go with the flow kind of guy. It irked me but I grew accustomed to it. I 'lived' with it but honestly I started to enjoy it and I suppose he rubbed off on me some. I wasn't as bad as I was when we were in high school but sometimes I noticed myself going on and on about something so trivial.

"You can drive now." Was all he said, opening my door. He passed me the keys and I jumped in the driver's seat. I adjusted all the mirrors and set the chair to my leg length. I pulled out onto the road and we began our journey to Vancouver once again.

I was driving at a reasonable pace, only speeding up to pass other cars and whatnot. I had to admit that I was an extremely cautious driver, I hated how Derek would only hold the wheel with one hand or turn incorrectly or forget to signal or didn't come to a complete stop at a stop sign but I didn't hate Derek. Just most of the things he does. That startling revelation of my non-hate of my step-brother, kind of scared me because if I didn't think of him as family and threw out all of the perspectives of my peers including my friends, I could see myself in a romantic relationship with him. My heart started to beat rapidly. I glanced at Derek but he was asleep in the passenger seat, looking adorable. He wasn't an ugly sleeper like me with all my drooling and occasional snores. I admired him for a second but tore my eyes from his sleeping form to focus on the road. The ride was short and I found myself reminiscing the time I had in high school with Derek. I remembered all of his pranks and the way he was around girls he liked. I missed high school, I missed not having to worry about jobs and careers and dreams. Derek had only three serious relationships, with Kendra, Sally and Emily. Kendra wasn't really my type of friend but she seemed like the type of girl Derek would date, blonde and ditzy. Sally was his real high school sweetheart though, she made him commit and he did. Sally also had to break his poor little heart, she didn't seem like the kind of girl Derek would usually date, granted she had beautiful blonde hair but she seemed more likeable to me. She was responsible, faithful, independent and she believed that a guy had to be gentlemanly about his feelings, he actually had to show his feelings and he had to earn her feelings somehow. She kind of reminded me of myself. She was tall and hard-to-get and she didn't worship Derek, like all the others (mainly Emily). I liked Sally. Emily, on one hand was my best friend but on the other she adored Derek like a god. It surprised me when Derek said he liked her. Not that she wasn't a wonderful person (she was), it was just so out of the blue. They broke up, Emily never told me why but they seemed okay with being friends, which made me super happy because it contradicted Derek's own words of girls and guys can't be just friends. Post-Emily, Derek had never been in a relationship with any one girl for more than a week. It made me feel better I didn't know why but I felt like I was being compared to each of his girlfriends by Derek himself or everyone else, even I did it. I felt lonely when Derek was on dates, our little two bedroom was so quiet without him. I missed him, though he was right beside me, I felt like he was slowly slipping out of my grip. It felt like we were breaking up, WEIRD right? We weren't even together to begin with. I didn't know what I was hoping for but somewhere deep down I knew that someday he'd get married one day and leave forever. It was wrong to objectify people but he was like my property, my beautiful land that was being stolen. I didn't want to lose Derek but I didn't know if I should express my feelings or if it would just chase him away. After all I was a freak, wanting to spend the rest of my life with my step-brother.

"We are in Calgary, wake up sleepy head." I cooed to my right.

"Hmph?" Was all he grunted, looking around then relaxing again. He smiled lazily and convinced his body to wake up. "Calgary? Already?" He asked pulling his seat up.

"Yeah we just got in, grab the map." I ordered gesturing his way.

"Are we still on the same road as the high way?"

"Yep."

"Then we just stay on it all the way through."

"Okay." I said, trying to drive with traffic but everyone was speeding. Then the most terrible thing in my life happened, though I was a model driver, I was driving the speed limit, I stopped at every damn stop sign since sixteen! I started to lose control of the prince. Where on earth were the karma gods when you needed them?

Casey and Derek's car, the prince, began to jerk back and forth, the brakes failed and they were heading into a large, 2 lane 4-way intersection going 60mph. Their stomach's hit the ground and they knew they couldn't do anything to stop the car. Realizing that this could be their last moments on Earth, their eyes locked and they took each others hands. In that small moment, the world around them stopped, it was only them, nothing else mattered and they didn't care anymore.

"You are the girl." Tears fell down her tanned cheeks.

"I hoped so." His eyes became watery. Seeing that they both just indirectly confessed their love, they knew that if they were going to die, they could die happy. He still wanted to know what her lips would feel like or what they would name their first child but he knew he wouldn't be able to experience it. Before they could actually say '_I love you_' or even blink, the world started to turn again and everything went faster than the speed of light, the collision, the whip-lash, the sirens, and the light they seen after they closed their eyes, accepting their sad fate. But fate had a funny way of not being what it seemed...

I could see lights, they were going on and off, my bed was extremely uncomfortable and I could feel warmth all around me. My eyes opened and I realized a number of things: One, the light was actually a series of lights on the ceiling. Two, my bed was in fact a gurney. Three, the warmth was blood. Four, I was in a hospital. And Five, I didn't know my own name. The doctors and nurses kept asking me my name, wouldn't they know? I was the one who was in a stinking hospital for crying out loud!

"Do you know your name?" A doctor asked, again.

"No! I told you a thousand times, I don't know!" I yelled. Frustrated that the incredibly smart doctors couldn't figure that out.

"Calm down. Heather, can you please get those damned cops to find their ID?" Doc asked looking at the woman I assumed was Heather. _Wait_, he said 'their' was there someone else hurt like me? Did they remember their name? I tried to lift myself from the gurney.

"Stay still. Can we get a bed over here?!" The doc waved to some other hospital looking people. "Sir, you were in a car crash. Do you remember that?" He asked, looking into my eyes while shining an annoying light in them. I was in a car crash? What was going on?

"I don't."

"Let's get this man stitched up." He said, after lifting my body onto a more comfy bed. The nurse pushed me into a room. Apparently I wasn't an emergency because everyone seemed to be working on another patient. "Are they on their way?" Doc asked Heather. She nodded and injected me with something, that made me sleepy and...

"Hurry, she's losing too much blood!" I heard a man scream.

"We have to get the metal out of her abdomen, quickly." A woman said more calmly but with no less urgency. I couldn't open my eyes. I thought that maybe I was in a hospital. I didn't know my name or who I was and I was frightened. "Her muscles seemed to be the only things punctured." I felt a pain in my belly and let out a cry of pain.

"She's waking up! Hit her with anaesthesia NOW!" I heard the man scream again. I felt my bones get heavier and my mind started to blank. The last thing I could remember was a light.

My stomach ached and I could smell cleaning products. I was on a bed and I didn't know where.

"She's waking up." I heard a woman whisper. My eyes fluttered open, they were met by a ceiling that was only used in schools and hospitals. I wasn't in a school.

"Miss? Can you tell me your name?" The woman asked in a soothing voice. I looked at the woman, she was short and had red hair. Her eyes were green, I didn't know what colour mine were.

"I can't. What's yours?" I asked.

"Heather. Your in the Foothills Hospital, in Calgary Alberta. Do you remember the collision?" She recited, it was what doctors did but she seemed nice.

"I don't. Was I with anyone?"

"Yes, I believe you were."

"Are they here? Are they hurt?" I questioned quickly, even though I probably wouldn't remember them, I still didn't want anyone else to be in pain. Or even worse not remember who they are. She looked into my eyes as if reading my thoughts and her eyes softened. She dropped the nurse act and held my hand.

"You were with a young man. He is fine, physically but he doesn't remember anything either." Oh no, I didn't even want to know who caused the accident. I began to cry. She held me and whispered soft nothings in my ear. 'It's okay', 'your fine', 'it's okay to be scared, sweety'. It made me feel so much better but my stomach interrupted the soothing embrace. I clutched my stomach and whimpered a little. She pressed the little red button beside my head and a doctor showed up soon after.

"Does she remember?"

"She's in pain right now." The doctor put some syringe in a little doohickey and I felt better after a few seconds. "She can't remember either but let's wait until tomorrow." She started to herd the doctor-man out. "Get some sleep." She ordered before she left. I didn't need someone to tell me that, and I fell asleep before I heard the door close.

Over a few days, my stitches healed. The evil nurses finally let me go for a walk. I smelt the air, and touched the grass and felt the sun on my skin. All I had to wear were the hospital thingys but being outside made me feel better. I still couldn't remember what my name was but the doctors said that the cops were searching the wreckage still and they were sure they would find something. I didn't know who I was, I couldn't remember if I had friends, if I was hated or loved, or my family. I was scared but I was also a man, I could get over it. The girl that I was with during the accident was still undergoing tests and her wounds didn't heal yet so I wasn't allowed to see her because of some contamination rules. I was worried about her, I didn't know her name or if she knew mine but I still felt that the person I was knew her, so I was obligated to feel something. I couldn't help but wonder who she was, what relationship we had with one another, if she knew my family, if she was my family, or even simply what she looked like. I started towards the door but was stopped dead in my tracks by the sight before me. An angel.

She was the most beautiful person in the world. Well I didn't know very many faces since the accident but still I was willing to bet that she was a fallen angel. Her eyes were as blue as the sea, which I seen a picture of on my hospital room wall and her hair was wavy and unkempt but it shined like the sun on dew. Whoa, I felt like one of those guys on the soap operas that play endlessly in the TV room. She was limping and holding her stomach but it looked like she was in the same boat as me, she looked happy to finally get away from the awful smell of the hospital. She looked up into the sky and when her gaze lowered her eyes met mine. She didn't do anything for a second (that felt like a million years) but she smiled. Her smile was the best thing I had seen in my entire two day life. I'm sure I had a good 20 years but I unfortunately didn't remember it. But if I hadn't gotten into an accident I may have never met the astoundingly gorgeous woman before me.

"Enjoying the sunshine?" She asked, smiling and looking out into the clouds. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

"Yeah." I was enjoying _her_ sunshine. Then I asked a stupid question.

"What's your name?" She looked at her feet and then back up at me.

"I don't know." Was _she_ the one I was with?

"Don't worry about it. I didn't think before I asked you because I can't recall mine either." Her IV pole that I didn't notice before wobbled a little. "Are you okay?" I asked balancing her and holding her arms with my hands. I looked into those baby blues and she nodded but headed back inside. There went the sunshine. I felt a drop of water on my head. Here comes the rain.


	5. Chapter 5

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Five

It rained and the sirens of the police were drowned out by the pitter patter. The police had finally found the ID of the two patients, three days after the accident. The doctor would have been pleased had it been licences but all they found were the woman's library card and the man's sports membership card. At least they knew the names but how could _that_ help them in anyway? They didn't know where they lived, where they came from, who they were. They would have to start fresh and that made the doctor rue the speed limits of Calgary. He wished there was some way he could help, that was the whole reason he was there, wasn't it? To help people, people who needed it the most. The police didn't care, the bystanders didn't care, even some of the nurses didn't care.

"I have some news for you two." The doctor said. He called me and the guy I met just the day before, into his office. I looked at the walls, filled with PhD's and whatnot. He was young but I couldn't say he was my age, I didn't know exactly how old I was, but he looked 30ish.

"What is it?" Mystery guy asked.

"The police have found your ID. They also found other things like clothes and some CD's but the car is totalled, the rest of your belongings are gone from the fire." The doctor said.

"You know our names?" I asked curiously. I wasn't all to happy about being told my name. I didn't want someone to tell me who I was, I was me no matter my memories, well that's what I liked to think.

"Yes, and you have the right to _not_ be told your name but if you want, the information is here." He said taking two cards out of his pocket. I didn't know if I could name myself, so I said.  
"No, it's okay. Please tell me." He passed me one of the cards.

"Your name is Casey McDonald. We looked into the library's name but too many exist." I looked at the card he gave me, and sure enough my name was plastered on it, even my picture, fancy library. _My name_. Casey McDonald, it was good enough for me, after all it didn't define me as a person. "We do know that the library is Canadian, though" He offered, I smiled at him.

"What about me?" Mystery guy asked beside me, I honestly forgot he was there. The doctor handed him the other card.

"Derek Venturi. Your apparently an athlete, that card has been renewed over three times, and your have a stamp on the back that says your a premium member." The doctor informed. Mystery (I mean) Derek seemed to be deep in thought.

"So Ms. McDonald, do you want us to try to find your family for you?"

"No." I replied instantly, shocking both Derek and the fine doctor. "I don't know them anymore. I may not even have family." I said trying to reason with their surprised expressions. The doctor was the first to relax his face muscles.

"No problem. Mr. Venturi, would you like me to try to find your family's whereabouts?"

"How could you say that? They loved you and cared for you your entire life! How could you just cast them aside like that?" Derek asked disbelievingly, ignoring the doctor.

"What would you have me do? Go to them and disappoint them because I'm not the same person anymore? They would be accepting a stranger into their home just because I was once family." I shot back.

"Your still their family, it doesn't matter who you are. Your their blood, they knew you, they could bring your memory back." He said quieter than before but with no less accusation.

"I'm not their family anymore. I was. Whoever I was, is who they would want me to be. That person is dead now. What if I never get my memory back? What then? I just go on pretending that they are my family but I've only known them since now? I wouldn't want to get their hopes up, I couldn't do that to anyone. I could give them false hope that someday I might be who I once was. I'm saving them the pain." I said almost breaking into tears. His eyes softened but I just got up and left. I wasn't ready to talk about it so soon. I had just lost everything I had ever known and I didn't even know what any of it was. It broke my heart. Those poor people, if any, were probably sad or lonely. I couldn't just act like everything would be okay because they _should_ be grieving, not looking for me. I rounded the corner and went into the empty TV room. The tears ran down my cheeks, I couldn't hold it in any longer. The pain of not being strong enough to remember was killing me. The doctor said there was nothing wrong with my brain, that it could someday all come back to me. I didn't believe him, I didn't want to be let down.

"I'm sorry." Someone said behind me. I tried to leave but there was a warm wall blocking the way. I looked up and seen Derek. His light brown hair was so shiny, and his chocolate brown eyes sparkled. I felt him wrap his arms around me and the sobs I'd been holding in, came out like the rain outside. I knew I would be happy someday but that day wasn't the day.

She looked so sad when I found her. Trying to keep her crying quiet. I shattered my heart in a million pieces to see an angel cry, even if she wasn't one. I held her for a long time, she stopped shaking and she pulled away slightly, taking her warmth with her.

"Thanks but I think this is goodbye." She said. Goodbye? Where was she going, I knew we didn't know each other but we knew each other before the crash, didn't that count for something?

"What do you mean _goodbye_?"

"We don't know one another. We're strangers. Just because Casey knew Derek doesn't mean I know you."

"I know but-"

"but, what?"

"Your the only person who knows what I'm going through."

"I'm sorry but I'm not strong enough to be reminded everyday that my past is gone and I need to move on."

"But if we found your family.."

"No more buts, Derek. Please, let me go." It was the hardest thing for me to do. To physically and mentally let her go. I didn't know what she meant to me before but it felt like she was the most important person in my life right then. It was incredibly hard but I let go. I watched some First Nation channel and it taught me something. If you hold onto someone you love too closely. Chances are they will slip through your fingers. They best kind of love was like an open hand, you let the person go but if they come back to you, it means your meant to be together. I could only wish.

The doctor was very generous, he helped us find places to live and helped us find jobs. He was a really good guy. I hoped someday I could pay him back somehow but I would have to take it one step at a time. First I had to keep a job. I was living at the YMCA, for a few months. I made friends right away, and taught me to play pool and darts and such. Casey went to live with a roommate who was a close friend to the doctor. I didn't try to find Casey, she asked me not to, I wanted to but I couldn't go against her wishes. And I had no idea why. Maybe it was because of my the whole love-at-first-sight thing I had when I met her. I didn't know what love really was yet but it sure felt like the way people explained it. I went on various dates with women I just met here and there. I felt like maybe I had some natural charm, old Derek was probably a hound. When I first moved into the YMCA I staying in my room all day, I think I was depressed. I didn't want to do anything, I was having an identity crisis. I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. Finally after a week of self-pity and wallowing in my filthy clothes that I hadn't changed since the beginning of the week, someone talked to me. They came running into my room, thinking it was there friends'. Yelling something about shampoo but upon seeing me stopped and looked around. He became what I would like to think as my best friend. His name was Noah but everyone called him Jack. He helped me pick myself up off the ground (literary and metaphorically) but not in a sappy way. It was all manly and shit. He, I have to admit was the coolest guy I knew.

"Sup bro?" Jack asked when I nudged his leg with me foot.

"I was just wondering why do they call you Jack, when your name is actually Noah?" I asked, looking down at him. He was fixing his car and was using one of those skateboard things to move easily in and out.

"What talents do I have?" It was an odd question but Jack always had a weird way of getting me to explain something to myself.

"Uh, you play any and every sport. You can fix everything from a watch to a computer. Um, you sing good." He interrupted me with,

"Well."

"Sing well, you dance like a pro and you have trivia and knowledge on just about anything."

"What do you usually call a guy that can do anything and everything?"

"Um. I don't know, a jack of all trades?" I said realizing that he again got me to explain something to myself. "Oh." He pulled himself from under to smile and then pushed himself back in.

"Later buddy." He said.

"Yeah, see ya." I said walking away and going over how he could still do that.

My roommate was a tidy girl. She labelled everything when it wasn't in a container or didn't have a place, it was weird but convenient when I was looking for something. Her bouncy red curls had me green with envy. They always looked good in fact I was willing to bet that they looked better in the morning than any other time of the day. My hair was nice but hers was beautiful. She had green eyes, like emeralds in their own right. She was kind of flirty though, once she dated two men at the same time but I didn't say anything because she was letting me stay for a month without having to pay half the rent. It went against my moral code I suppose, to be unfaithful. Her name was Jolene. One time I heard a country song and it sounded just like her! I laughed my head off.

"Hey Jolene, ever hear that song called _Jolene_?" I asked giggling a little. She laughed.

"Yeah, my momma was a funky lady. She seen my red hair and green eyes and thought it'd be funny." She was from the States.

"You even have that accent."

"Sure do. You want pie or cookies for dessert?" She asked, finished cooking the meal. She as a great cook, her shepherd's pie was the best!

"Hm, pie."

"What kind?"

"Sweet potato?"

"Your so freaky with that mind readin' crap. I just bought some today." She said grabbing the potato's from the cupboard.

"Cool! Thanks. Do you think you could teach me to cook?"

"Why? You gotta man your after?" She said in a sultry voice, and winked at me.

"Maybe and they say that the best way to a mans heart is his stomach."

"Ain't that the truth. Sure come here and I'll show you how to bake a pie." She was a really good roomie. I hoped that she wouldn't kick me out if I couldn't get a job soon.

**A/N:** This one is a little short. Just a heads up, I will update on every Thursday. I might update any number of chapters before that but I will always have an update for Thursday. I promise.

RG


	6. Chapter 6

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Six

_One Month Later..._

The step-siblings had their lives on track again. Derek was studying film because he just loved being behind a camera. He loved capturing memories, he liked that the moments could last longer because of it. He moved with his buddy Jack, to a small two bedroom apartment. They had a scary landlady that always kept them in line, like a mom would. He and Jack went for daily jogs because Jack always had something active to do at his job and insisted that Derek stay in shape also. In his free time away from his job and Jack (with his many activities), Derek searched online trying to find his family, if he had one, he wanted to know who they were, where they were. He went on numerous trips to the police station and they tried but they couldn't find his relatives anywhere. Casey on the other hand was enjoying having a second chance, she could have died but didn't so now she owed it to the world to live life to the fullest. She thought it would drag her down but knew that she needed a good job later on, so she took a few classes at a community college. She was studying English and Crime only because Jolene suggested it. She was also taking dance classes twice a week, on Sunday and Wednesday. One of her partners, wanted to go dancing for a date and she agreed, not knowing that her body was built for it. _That_ man was long gone but the fun of dancing never left her. She thought with enough practice she could be a professional one day.

_All I could see was darkness but I could hear the awful sound of metal skidding on pavement. It stopped, we finally stopped moving. We? Someone was beside me. But whom? When I turned my head all I could hear was a man screaming 'Casey!' and all I could see was fire. Casey! Casey!_

"Casey! Your going to make us late!"

"Wha?" I said sitting up in my bed. Ugh, just more nightmares.

"Get. Up." Jolene ordered.

"Yes, ma'am." I said sarcastically. She gave me the 'I don't got time for your humour' glare. I raised my arms in defeat and grabbed some clothes.

"Do yourself up birthday girl."

"Oh yeah!" I just realized, my birthday was today. I made myself presentable, if only for myself and Jolene, and we hurried out the door. "You drive today, Jo." She gave me a weird look but she knew about my dreams/nightmares. Her face dawned confusion, then realization in a second. Besides the times I had those scary dreams, I ALWAYS drove.

The classes I had by my lonesome were super boring. The teacher kept going on and on about something or other but I only had my party in mind. I didn't know what I did before the accident or BA for short, Jolene always wanted things to be more convenient thus she created an acronym for when I was speaking about what happened before I lost my memory. Anyways, I hadn't a clue of the traditions I had for my birth date, so maybe I could create my own? Yeah that sounded cool.

"Ms. MacDonald."

"McDonald." I corrected.

"Excuse me?"

"It's _Mc_Donald." Somebody behind me snickered.

"What was the point of my lecture today?"

"Uh, to teach English?" The class laughed. Mr. Cyr's face turned red, I didn't know why I always pissed him off, I mean I wasn't trying to. And yes Cyr is pronounced _sir._ Which is what I nicknamed him secretly, everyone copied me and now when people call him that he gets mad like you've never seen.

"If you don't _need_ to be here, Ms. _Mc_Donald you can leave."

"Sorry sir." The class laughed again. I guess that day my professor had enough because he just pointed towards the door. I got my shit and started walking towards the door but thought better. I could piss him off more, if he wanted to be such a douche. I turned around and yelled. "Everyone is invited to my birthday party tonight, my place! Even you." I pointed at Sir. I heard people whooping, probably my guy friends. I took a bow, everyone cheered and clapped and such. I had no idea why I was popular, being a jerk to the Prof worked apparently. I left but unfortunately Jolene's class got out early and she seen the whole thing. Oops.

"Casey." She warned

"Sorry."

"Your off the hook but only because it's your birthday."

"YES!" I pumped my fist. Whenever Jolene caught me acting out she punished me, her punishment was NOT doing the dishes, NOT cooking my food, NOT waking me up in the morning and NOT doing my laundry. This one time I fell asleep in Sir's class and he woke me up by throwing a textbook on the floor (douche bag) but when I just wake up I'm grumpy, so getting woken up like that I got pissed off, I snapped something at him but Jolene caught me. She stopped all her household chores and gave me the silent treatment for two entire days! I stunk, ate off plastic plates, fell asleep during every break I had at work and had to cook for myself, and my recipe repertoire consisted of toast, noodles and KD. Which wouldn't have been so bad, had I not accidentally forgot about the stupid food when the phone rang. I nearly burned down the house. Guess I depended on her a lot. Jolene was like my mom.

"Alrighty, lets get y'all a cuter outfit. I invited a bunch of people from my cooking class."

"Kay." I couldn't wait to see the cute guys she'd been talking about ever since she joined that class.

Cooking was actually a cool class, I thought it'd suck but Jack made it fun. He always managed to make girly things enjoyable. A major plus would be that the class was filled with chicks, only two other dudes took the class, smart guys. Jack was a romantic, he was always '_such a sweetie_' NOT my words, at least three of his girls said that. He liked to dance, sing and cook with or for his girlfriends. Of course HE was the one who dragged me to the cooking class, wanting to further his cooking prowess.

"Hey, bro. 'That redhead' from the front just invited us to a party."

"Nice."

"It's a birthday party, you think we should bring a gift?"

"Nah man, it's cool."

"Okay." He said then i 1. "Ugh, I _have_ to get something."

"Put my name on it too then." Jack, at times like this, was so predictable. But when it wasn't something he always did, he'd freak you out by doing something totally out of character. We started to clean up our station. Party time.

Jack whipped open his door.

"How do I look?"

"Your such a girl." I said from the couch.

"Shut up." He looked into the mirror beside the door. Fixing his collar and sleeves and belt and whatnot. "Aren't you gonna change?" He asked whilst fixing his 'do'.

"Why should I?"

"Because just maybe you'll find that girl you told me about."

"What girl?"

"Right, you didn't say girl, ah man how do you put it? Oh! _A__ngel_ I think it was." He said making a face that I assumed was supposed to be mine.

"When did I say this?"

"When we met. You forgot already? Oh, you were probably too drunk to remember. I took you out for a drink and you kept going on and on _and on_ about some girl you met at the hospital."

"OH. I think I remember a little." I said as I fidgeted with the seam of the couch arm.

"Anyways, you mentioned that you wished you could see her again, tell her something.."

"What?" I asked looking at him like he held the answers to everything.

"What?" He echoed.

"What was I going to tell her?" I urged.

"Oh, you never said. You passed out." Jeez, just another thing I couldn't remember dammit! I could still see her smile though, it seemed to light up the grass, the trees, the sky, everything. Man. Too much of those Rom-com's Jack always watches. Again, he was such a girl.

"You look good Romeo. Hurry up, let's go." I said and he laughed.

"That rhymed." A small flame began to burn at the back of my mind, I didn't feel any different but those words echoed slightly. I decided then, I would at least put on a clean shirt.

"Howdy boys." That cute red-head greeted after we knocked on the door. "Sorry, a lot of people came, my girl is pretty popular. It might be a little snug." Everything about her was cute, the accent, the hair, the freckles but even if I tried to like her I couldn't. I always thought of _her_.

"Hi." Jack said happily, handing her the bag he brought.

"Oh, your such a sweet heart, you didn't need to get her anything."

"Of course I did. May we?" What a proper guy. She stepped back and put the bag with two dozen other presents. It seemed her girl was popular. "Where's the birthday girl?" He asked after looking around the crowds. "I wanna say hello."

"She's getting ready. I told her this time, to take forever because she just doesn't seem to grasp the whole 'make em wait' idea."

"I see."

"Where's the grub?" I asked, wondering why I could still be hungry after I just ate. She pointed towards the most crowded area. Great.

Damn. I was already done. Jolene told me to take twice as long because it made a good entrance. What kind of logic was that? Wouldn't people just rather start the party sooner? But I couldn't disobey Jolene, she was like an aggravated mama bear when angry. So I sat in my chair, looking about my small room. It was decent, nice and cozy. I had a double bed, a dresser and a desk in my room. Nothing too special. I didn't have very many things of sentiment. My hospital bracelet reminds me to stay happy and to repay the doctor for everything, he did for us. '_Us_' I thought, what a strange but warm sentiment. I looked at myself in the mirror again. Make up was done, clothes were on, hair curled. I peaked out the door, half were my classmates and the other half I didn't recognize. Jolene really went all out.

"Boo!" Jolene jumped at the door making me slam it shut. I opened it again and gave her a glare. She giggled. "Sorry, time to come out now."

"Finally." I opened the door the rest of the way. Most of the people turned my way and started to greet me and congratulate me and stuff. I made my way to the kitchen. "Let's get some tunes going!" I shouted. I turned on our stereo and put in one of the many rock CD's we had in.

"Casey! Let's open your presents!" My short roomie called, waving her hands up so I could see her behind the tall people. I strolled towards her, dodging the limbs flailing everywhere, these people really liked this song. When I made my way to her I was shocked to see how many gifts I got.

"Whoa, are these all for me?"

"Yep." She piped excitedly, birthdays were really her thing.

"Open this one first." She handed me a very neatly wrapped box. Obviously from her but I checked her homemade tag anyways. She smiled big, I mirrored hers. I was wondered what she got me. Must be something good. I pulled on the bow at the top. As I peered in the box, I found tissue paper but under the tissue paper I found tap shoes.

"Oh, Jolene." I said getting up to hug her. She was still smiling.

"I know." I needed tap shoes for the next lesson in my dance class. She got me beautiful Capezio's. Shiny black and three inches high, I was aching to try them on. Knowing her they would fit like a charm, she was a perfectionist of sorts.

"Thank you, so much. I love them."

"Well, try them on." I did. They fit perfectly (of course they did). She gestured towards the small open space beside me. I started to do a little number, they taught me in normal shoes, it sounded so much better this way. When I finished I heard applause. I bet my face was beet red, I got so carried away, I didn't even notice the music lower or the eyes on me. "Let's eat some cake before we open the rest." Jolene said to the crowd, we started to huddle to the kitchen.

After the happy birthday song and the cutting of the cake, Jolene came over to me.

"I have some friends from my cooking class I want you to meet." We made our way to the two couches we had (I had no idea why she wanted two). Sitting on them were two heads from my point of view until they turned. Two men.

"Jack this is Casey." She introduced me to the only one guy I could see.

"A pleasure." He said taking my hand and placing a kiss a the top. Ooh he's cute. Jolene gave me a look and winked. Ah, I see he was hers.

"The pleasure's mine." But then the other one got up and held out his hand but dropped it upon recognizing me.

"Hey I-" His face broke into a grin. "Casey?" I told him not to look for me, I'm sure he didn't so I wasn't going to get mad. It would be like meeting a stranger you already met. I smiled back.

"Derek."

"Derek." It felt so good to hear _her_ say my name. She seemed just as beautiful or maybe even more (if that was possible) than when I last saw her. Oh god her eyes. I felt like jelly. I couldn't contain my smile, my day got a whole lot better.

"It's so good to see you." I said. Lame! But she smiled and forgot about the handshake I was engaging and gave me a hug. _Now_ I _was_ jelly.

"Nice to see you." She whispered in my ear, giving me chills hopefully she didn't notice how my heart was doing double time when she touched me.

"So you know each other?" Her friend said.

"Well sorta." Casey replied.

"Huh? How do you sorta know somebody?" Jack asked.

"We were in the accident together but-" I started but Casey finished for me.

"We decided that since we didn't know each other anymore, we should act like strangers." I raised my brow at this but she just nudged me a little. I accepted her version mostly because she touched me _again_. I nodded.

"Well that's cold, eh Jolene?" Oh so her name was Jolene. Ha, just like the song.

"It makes sense but it is a little."

"Well we don't need to be strangers anymore. You gotta nice place, and I'm assuming you have a job now."

"Yeah, I guess. What about you? Are you on track?" She asked looking slightly concerned.

"Absolutely." Jack interrupted backing me up. Good man.

"Well that's good." Jolene said wrapping her arm around Jack, oh that's why she introduced them. Jack likes meeting his girlfriends' best friends. I felt another little click in my head, when Jack held her hand.

"Let's leave the love birds alone." I said pulling Casey away.

"Do you mind that I'm here?" I asked hoping she'd say no.

"No, it's okay. You weren't looking for me right?"

"It's just a coincidence I swear."

"Alright. You can stay. Is Jack a good guy?" She said looking over at the couple. She cares about everyone doesn't she?

"The best." She looked more assured and we began to catch up. She was taking classes at a nearby college, had an archenemy for a Prof and took a dance class. I told her about my little identity crisis, my film studies and Jack. She encouraged me and rubbed my arm when I told her about my troubles. Talking to her made me feel miles high, all my problems seemed stupid when she said 'don't worry about it, everything will turn out for the best'. Her simple words and sweet smiles, felt like they were meant only for me. Even if she'd say it to just about anyone, she could still make a guy feel like the most important person in the world.

"Friends?" I offered. She took my hand and shook it lightly.

"Friends."

I had to hand it to Jolene, she could throw one hell of a party. Not to mention, she roomed with Casey which made her an automatic good person to me.

"See you ladies later." Jack said.

"Bye, Casey. Happy Birthday, again." I said as we walked down the hall and waved back at the girls. I whistled. "She's sure is a looker."

"Yeah, Jolene's great." I meant Casey but I didn't mention it.

"Remember earlier this evening when you said maybe _'she'_ would be here?" I asked getting into the passenger seat.

"Mhm." He grunted.

"Well, that angel was here tonight."

"Casey." He said knowingly.

"What? How'd you know?" I enquired.

"Dude, the only person who couldn't see your googly eyes was her."

"Shit."

"_Shit_ is right. You got it bad." Oh, Jack you didn't even have a clue.

**A/N:** It's 11:20 pm. Did you notice Derek's thoughts are less controlled and angsty without the whole step-sibling thing? Casey is a bit different but not OC in my opinion, I think she'd act quite different not knowing her history and all. _Changed the point of view switch, hopefully you can see it now.._

RG


	7. Chapter 7

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Seven

"What's up?" Casey greeted when she answered her cell. Derek's ring tone was 'Why Don't You Kiss Her?' Because it was the girliest song in his music library.

"Wanna eat out tonight?" Derek asked knowing full well that his most _Casey,-I-like-you_ song played, to let her know it was him.

"Sure, I'll bring Jesse. He wants to meet you because I talk about you so much. Where at?" Casey asked, walking to her room to pick out a decent set of clothes. Derek's heart started to beat so rapidly he thought she might hear.

"Okay, let's go to that karaoke place near your apartment." He said trying his hardest to keep his hopes contained after all, Casey was dating some Jesse dude. Probably a scumbag. Casey grinned.

"You know me too well Der." Again his heart did a leap so high he thought it bruised his brain. _Why did she always have to use a nickname?_ Derek thought looking at the ceiling eyes closed, glad that she couldn't see his face. _What kind of man was he, to blush over a nickname?_

"That I do Case. See ya there."

"Bye." She said then threw her cell on her bed. _Why is it more fun going out to eat with Derek?_ Casey thought but brushed it off when Jesse walked in, not knocking. Again.

"You never knock." I stated not meaning for it to be accusing.

"Why should I need to? Are you hiding something?" Jesse snapped.

"No! Get dressed, I told Derek we'd go eat tonight."

"_He's_ coming?" He complained. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean _he_?" I asked raising my voice.

"_He _as in Derek. All you do is yak about him non-stop. I'm your boyfriend! Do you know how it makes me feel for _my_ girl to be talking about some guy I've never met?" Jesse was really pissing me off, more than usual.

"He's _just_ a friend! Why does everyone think like that?" I asked exasperated at his primitive jealously, this happened with all my boyfriends. I never regretted Derek's friendship though. "Wait did you say '_my_'? Jesse I am not your property."

"You know what I mean, Case." I hated it when he used my nickname, only Derek was allowed. Whoa, I can kind of see what Jesse was going on about but I didn't like Derek. Not in that way, I don't think..

"I thought you wanted to meet him? Ugh, never mind let's just go." I said, ending the argument altogether when I stalked out the door.

"Case, I got us a good seat near the-" Derek started but stopped when he seen something behind me. When I turned it was Jesse, giving him the death glare. "You must be Jesse."

"Derek." They shook hands and it looked like just two guys meeting but something was off. Maybe it was the way Derek and Jesse weren't smiling or it might have been that when they were shaking, their knuckles turned white.

"Where's the seat?" I asked scared that some hidden conversation was going on between them because if there was one, I wouldn't be able to tell what they were talking about. Derek was still kind of blank faced but smiled.

"It's right near the stage." I hoped the amateurs were good, most karaoke places were riddled with bad singers. Jesse and Derek were still having some sort of staring contest and I was stuck in between them.

"Well come on, lets go." I said looping my arm with Derek's then Jesse's and lead them towards the stage. I really didn't have a clue as to why Jesse could _not_ like Derek.

"Some of these singers aren't too bad." I said, hoping that I didn't upset anyone. Even though it was a simple observation, I didn't know much about this Jesse character.

"Yeah, I really liked that one girl." Casey agreed. I knew exactly which one.

"Oh, the one who sang the song from the radio that was on in that hair salon you dragged me to?" I remembered it well, just not the name. I was too busy watching Casey in the mirror during that hair cut she forced me into. She always looked good, I didn't know why she insisted we go there.

"Yeah, I can't remember what the name was." She said then put her face into thinking mode.

"There are lots of songs on the radio." Jesse said interrupting our conversation, which should have included him but didn't.

"Oh, it was this one time me and Derek went for haircuts and the radio was too loud and that lady with the orange hair kept giving us the stink eye."

"Derek and I." He interrupted again but Casey continued on like nothing because she didn't get when people were not-so secretly angry.

"Anyways she was like a thousand years old and she gave us the finger later on when we left. She is such a colourful old bag." Casey laughed making me snort at her funny description of that crazy old woman and her ridiculous hair. Jesse didn't seem to find it very laugh worthy. I don't think I seen him even relatively happy since we met.

"You had to be there." I added, noticing how tense he got during the inside joke kind of story.

"Yeah." Then he looked for a waiter. I mouthed to Casey. 'What's up?' Sometimes I worried too much about her. She looked at Jesse then back at me. 'We had a fight'. I was about to ask her what about but he turned back towards us. Jesse didn't seem like a bad guy, he was just the wrong guy for Casey. She deserved someone as perfect as her. Someone who would change for her, not some guy who thinks _he's_ the catch. He was six feet tall, with blonde hair and green eyes. A super model type but also a douche bag type. "Where are all the waiters?"

"Waiting." I quipped making Casey giggle but again Jesse didn't laugh. What a stick in the mud. I laughed nervously, then put my hand in the air and snapped. A waiter was beside us within seconds, hopefully I pissed him off because this time I was trying. Jesse ordered for us, making not only me a little irked but Casey as well. She didn't like what he ordered for her obviously. She wore jeans which meant she wanted something strong, she only ever wore skirts when she was going to have something fruity like a pina colada and she wore dresses when she wanted wine.

The night started getting a tiny bit better every minute or so probably because we got some alcohol into Jesse's system. He started giving more than one word answers, but every so often he would insult something that I held dear to my heart (Casey). I couldn't tell if she noticed his subtle insults but further and further into the dinner she started to pay more attention to the singers and me (Which made _me_ feel like a million bucks). The evening got a little out of hand when Jesse became more bold, making me step up my game because I wasn't going to let Casey get hurt by a jerk like him.

"So why am _I_ the third wheel here?" He implored to no one in particular but glanced at me, provoking Casey.

"What do you mean? We are out as friends, no one is on a date Jesse."

"Two of us here obviously are." He hissed, making my face flush with anger.

"Well then maybe-"

"Maybe what?!" He growled making people look our way. _Maybe the third wheel should leave._ Was what I was going to say but Casey shushed us.

"Quit bickering, I like this song." The song was _"Jesse's girl"_ which I found incredibly ironic. Then I got an idea and smirked at Jesse. Casey was too busy watching the singer, when I started lip syncing the song all the while staring at Jesse, the smirk still on my face. Oh what a surprise, he didn't seem to like that very much. He was turning more red with each lyric. I got as far as '_You know that I __wish that I had Jesse's girl_' before he jumped over the table at me like a freaking panther. Pushing me to the ground, jumping on top of me and throwing a punch. He totally punched like a girl. Well not Casey, she is the hulk when her feathers are ruffled. She ain't weak, physically or otherwise.

"Get off of him!" I heard her scream. She was sticking up for me? Awesome. Jesse got up when she yanked his shirt back and she came to my side. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I assured her and then she did something so Casey. She put on a face that chills to the bone and slugged him in the gut. His face had 'What the F?' written all over it when he looked up at her. He was clutching his stomach and it sounded like he got one hell of a breather. She stared down him not realizing that everyone was looking at the scene disbelievingly.

"We're through. Don't even think about coming to my place for your shit," she threatened then she came back for me and the scary ass glare was gone. "Come on Derek." She helped me up and I felt my face. No blood, what a sissy punch. It wasn't even embarrassing to have a girl win a fight for me because watching Casey give him a good one was enough to give me good dreams for a week and not to mention she sided with me immediately. We walked toward the doors.

"Why him?" The little creature on the floor asked. I was about to say something wise-ass but Casey beat me to it, elegantly.

"Because he isn't a bitch."

I couldn't believe I just did that. I knew my hand was going to hurt in a bit, the adrenaline was still pumping through my veins.

"Are you okay to drive?" I questioned worried about that punch.

"Don't worry Case. He hit like a girl," He declared then added as an after thought. "except you." Although I shouldn't have, I laughed. He got into his car and started it but lowered the window. "Do you have a ride back home?"

"No but I can call Jolene," I patted my pockets. "with the cellphone that I left on my bed."

"Hop in." I did just that. I liked his car, even though it was kind of small. It was cozy and good on gas. He shifted into gear. "You have your key right?"

"Yes I do." I confirmed pulling my key out of my jacket. He nodded and some hair fell in his face. I reached over and brushed it back, then suddenly he seemed extremely focused on the road. On the way there, I rubbed my hand and smiled at myself. Violence wasn't a good thing but fight fire with fire right?

"Wait here a sec." I said looking at my apartment's window. Jolene should have been back by then but the lights were out. I scurried up the stairs and put my head against the door. Before I could hear anything I noticed the tampon hanging off the door knob. What the hell? I put my key in the door and opened it slightly. "Jolene?" I whispered to our empty kitchen. I heard a moan. Oh, that was what that tampon meant. I grabbed my slippers and shut the door. Mental note: Tampon on the knob means boyfriend on the premises.

"What's up?" Derek asked when he seen my bunny slippers.

"Jack's there. I had to sneak." I laughed, I had no idea why I found it funny but it was.

"Oh, so where you sleeping tonight?"

"I thought I'd sleep at your place." I said like it was the most obvious conclusion, which it was for me anyhow. His face changed colour and he looked away.

"Uh, o-okay." He stuttered.

"Why are you nervous? Is your place a pigsty or something?" I asked. He cleared his throat. Oh, no was he sick?

"No, it's alright for two males in their twenties." He joked.

"So here we are." He declared opening his door after a minute of Jimmying the lock. Walking in my mouth dropped. Their place was beautiful! I was so jealous. Past the arch near the doorway, I seen marble counter tops and stainless steel appliances. In the living room, there was a flat screen and comfy looking leather couches. Down their hallway were mahogany doors which I assumed lead to the bedrooms and bathroom.

"Holy crap. Derek you never said your place was _this_ nice!" I exclaimed, admiring the paintings.

"Jack got a promotion last month. He bought all this stuff with the bonus." He explained all nonchalant but seemed to admire the place as well.

"What does he do?" I enquired incredulously.

"A variety of things."

"Like what?" I sat on the couch and sank in (it _was_ comfy).

"He works part-time as a mechanic, and part-time as a daycare worker, and he free lances as a chef at a local burger joint."

"Wow. He _is_ a jack of all trades." This made him laugh and he continued.

"He also volunteers at probably all the charities he can find. _And_ he's got hobbies."

"I can't imagine how he does it." I stated, Jack went way up in my _Cool People I Know_ group. Derek had a permanent spot in it too. He strolled towards the desk in their living room.

"Lists." He showed me three notebooks all of which were filled with neat writing and those weren't even all of them. Getting up and inspecting the desk I found sticky notes, highlighters and a calender that was barely visible under all of the events and 'things to remember' written on it. "Lots of lists." Derek emphasized. Jack wasn't a perfectionist like Jolene but did he ever come close. He kept himself organized but she was crazy on things being symmetrical and stuff, sometimes I pondered the idea of her being OCD.

"Sorry about tonight." I apologized looking at my lap and scratching the back of my head nervously.

"It's fine and even though I could have handled him...Thank you." He said. "You throw one hell of a punch." He laughed.

"I don't work out for nothin'" I boasted flexing my biceps.

"This might not seem like a very good offer at the moment but if you ever need me Case, I'm there. I won't let anyone hurt you." It sounded like a promise so I felt the need to hug him and I did. I could feel the warmth of him, like back when I first hugged him.

"Don't worry, you still have your manliness in my eyes."

"You charmer." He said behind my back. I broke the hug and he showed me to the guest room.

"You're a good guy, Derek Venturi." I speculated. He smiled and I think I saw a little blush.

"Thanks."

**A/N: **If it isn't obvious, I wanted to show the difference between _amnesia_Derek and Derek.


	8. Chapter 8

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Eight

Casey slept a good night's sleep and woke up quite early. Derek on the other hand started having problems when he walked into his room, and finally realized that Casey was sleeping just across the hall. When he convinced his body to shut down every tiny movement or sound would wake him. His alarm clock blared at six in the morning and although resistant, he peeled himself off his bed like Velcro. Casey was up and running by five and since Derek was as alive as a rock, she decided to eat some breaky. She prepared eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes and toast with jam; she didn't know what Derek liked so she made everything that Jolene taught her. She turned on the radio and enjoyed herself a cup of tea and began to hum. Too busy dancing around in the kitchen, Casey didn't notice the zombie that crossed the hall.

"Casey?" Derek called after opening the door.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Casey answered. She kept on cooking though. Derek was surprised to see the bed made. Suddenly intrigued he ventured further in, finding her watch on the night stand and a brush on the dresser, it was strange how she could make it look like it was her room. "You gonna take a shower?" Casey asked behind him, making him leap five feet in the air.

"I-I was um j-just." Finding his tongue tied, he just nodded and bolted towards the bathroom.

"I made breakfast." Casey said, noticing but ignoring his strange behaviour. Hearing her words, he decided to take a quick one. Derek wanted to know what she cooked like. Casey hoped he wouldn't notice the burnt toast and waffles.

"Food." She said.

"I know." I said back, smiling. I could totally get used to Casey cooking for me. She paid close attention to the first bite. Fortunately it was a pancake and not one of those burnt waffles, it tasted great. I gave her a thumbs up mostly because I had my mouthful, Jack was keen on manners. Her face lit up like a freaking Christmas tree and my heart did that little flip-flop thing it so often did around her. Done with the thinking and the chewing I felt the urge to compliment. "This is delicious. Did Jolene teach you?"

"Yeah, I swear she could be a chef. Did you ever see her in the kitchen? She does that cool flippy thing when she makes pancakes. I wish I could do it. I tried and it just fell and made a huge mess-" was all I got before I was distracted by her lips. I loved listening to her babble on, she was cute when she was excited and smiley, she always made gestures while going on too and made it more fun to watch. I started to eat again scarcely ever looking at my meal. My thoughts were interrupted by her abrupt stop when I brought some toast to my mouth. When I took a bite I spit it out immediately. It was icky, so I washed it down with orange juice.

"Ugh, it's burnt." Casey started giggling (I couldn't keep a straight face), I followed suit.

After our meal, Casey got all dolled up but wore her same clothes.

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"To get you some clothes."

"Okay." I didn't think she'd accept so easily. Jack would probably be out for some time, I knew this because when he went to a lady-friend's home they'd stay inside all day and all night, so I locked the door and said my usual good morning to the landlady on the way out. I had no idea where girls shopped so I made the consecutive decision of going to the mall.

"What's the time?" Bad move. She looked at her wrist and I accidentally said. "It's on the night stand." Letting her know I had a good look at where she slept might be seen as creepy.

"Oh." She said, implying she would be coming back to my place.

"I thought we were getting clothes?" I asked. We just passed my shared house.

"We are, new ones." Derek said, like it was nothing.

"What? I don't have enough money." My paycheck didn't come in yet.

"I've got a simple solution. I'll pay."

"But Derek you don't have to-" I tried. He interrupted me with,

"I want to, don't worry about it." and added, "I don't spend my cash on anything anyways."

"Okay but I _will_ pay you back." I hated being indebted, I wanted to be free of obligations from people who might ask for dumb favours. I knew Derek would but still.

"I'm sure you will." He said pulling into the parking lot.

He took me to the mall. We strolled down the halls, some stores hadn't opened yet but we came across a place that looked me. It was named 'The Closet' and was written in fancy letters above the door. I rummaged through the stacks of t-shirts and searched through the racks of pants and came up with an outfit that cost little.

"It doesn't look very comfortable." Derek said when I came out of the fitting room.

"What makes you think I want comfortable? And it's not." I said trying to adjust the stupid chains on the pants.

"Because I know you Case. You picked those out because they're cheap, you are pretty obvious looking at the price tag first thing." It delighted me that he noticed my style and knew me so well but I hadn't a clue as to why.

"I just don't want you spending so much on me."

"I don't use it anyhow, might as well get something nice." I guessed that since he was offering I should accept it gracefully.

"Alright but I'll still be minding the price."

"Okay now get out of those things and let's go to that section near the front I seen you gazing at." How did he come to know me so well? I took off the ugly garments and we went to the area of gorgeous blouses and such.

"This looks good." I offered.

"This one's better." He announced. It was.

After searching, then testing, then buying, and then changing into the clothes, I felt all new. Derek bought me a blue shirt and a yellow sweater to go over it, and he got me some cute jeans too. We started walking down the hall but he stopped and pulled me in the music store.

"Let's get some music." He recommended.

"Okay," I started looking at the shelves, "what do you like?" He looked so interested in the Cd's that I thought he might not have heard me.

"Bare Naked Ladies."

"Gross."

"It's a band Casey."

"Oh." Feeling stupid I grabbed a _Bare Naked Ladies_ Cd and thrust it at him. For some reason, I always knew where everything was, especially when it was in alphabetical order. He smiled and took it but his finger touched mine and I think he shocked me. He didn't seem to mind.

"Thanks. Want some lunch?"

"Yeah, I'm starved." The food court was packed but we found a small line at the A&W.

Spending a whole day with Casey was my idea of a good time. Buying her clothes made me feel cool, like a billionaire showering a woman with gifts but in reality it was just a friend doing a friend a favour. That's all I'd ever be to her, _just_ a 'friend'. We got back to the apartment at four.

"Got my watch. Hey, what's wrong?" She must have observed my gloominess.

"Nothing."

"It's gotta be something but if you don't wanna talk, wanna play some games?" Casey was absolutely the coolest girl I knew.

"Y-you want to play a game?" She nodded and I got a hold of myself, "Which system?"

"I prefer PS3." What a goddess.

"Me too, what did you have in mind?" She thought about it for a second then smiled.

"You got Call of Duty?"

"Which one?"

"Modern Warfare." How did she know this stuff?

"Josh borrowed them all, he's having an all out gamer weekend with Jason." She went into thought processing mode again.

"How bout Splinter Cell?" then she added. "Conviction."

"Let's do it!" We scurried into the living room and pulled out the toys that Jack hid well in the cupboards and ottomans. He said he didn't mind being a game freak just as long as not everyone knew about it.

We wrapped the co-op story and high-five'd. She had some serious gaming skills.

"We make a good team." She pointed out.

"Heck yeah." I agreed. She looked down at her watch.

"Oh I should go." She started to gather her things. I grabbed my keys and we were just getting to the car when Jack and Jolene pulled up.

"Hey guys!" I called when they got out.

"Hey!" Jack waved.

"Hi. What were you two doing?" Jolene asked looking Casey up and down.

"Just gaming, you guys are finally done?" Casey asked. Jack raised his eyebrow giving him a questioning look that said 'seriously?' and I nodded, like Casey could lie.

"Gaming? Casey you have no idea how to say _no_ do you?" Jolene laughed.

"It was her idea." I voiced. This just made her laugh more. "Did you guys even _get_ any sleep or at least eat? Besides, you know." I joked, bringing back the subject Jolene brushed off. I winked.

"FYI we did but Jackie is like a little energizer bunny." Jolene answered, making Jack blush either from the weird nickname or the way she talks about their love life so openly. It was too much information, for two buddies to know that much about how we were in bed so we gave each other the look, agreeing to forget that conversation.

"Well Joey didn't help the situation with her sexy accent." Jackie? Joey? These two probably had freaky foreplay. Casey and I looked at each other and laughed but became serious, just so we could mock them.

"Oh, Joseph!" I called.

"Oh, Jacqueline!" Casey called in the same Shakespearean way. I put my arm around Jolene's shoulders and Jack linked arms with Casey, playing along.

"Was he gentle?" I asked.

"Was she kinky?" Casey asked making the group laugh out loud at Casey using the word 'kinky'.

"Where were you guys headed?" Jack asked after our laughing fit.

"I'm taking Casey home."

"The night's still young, let's all go inside and play some poker!" Jolene suggested enthusiastically. We all agreed and back we went indoors.

It was really fun hanging out with all my friends. Jack and I were surprisingly enough almost closer than Jolene and I. Jack was an easy guy to like. But Derek was the funny one. Jolene liked to party.

"Full house." Jolene declared slapping down her hand. I heard the groans of the boys. She also kicked ass at poker.

"She cheating I tell you." Derek said.

"Come now, just because you stink at card games don't mean a thing." She said.

"It means our money." Jack interjected.

"Oh never thought of that." She cackled and pulled in the pot. We finished the night with Jolene and I leaving after cleaning the boys out.

"See you tomorrow!" Jolene called then hopped in the car.

"Bye Derek! Bye Jackie!" I called to the open window. Both of them waved out the window awkwardly.

"Bye Casey! Bye Joey!" I smiled and Jolene gave him the finger, making me snort.

"Goodnight!" Jack yelled when we I jumped in and started the car. We gave one final wave.

"You forgot to kiss him goodnight!" Jolene accused. Unconsciously I said.

"Yeah-" then realizing, "wait what?!"

"You are too easy, girl. I'm just foolin'" She said taking off her coat and cackling much like she did earlier on. "Let's go to sleep, honey. Jackie invited us to one of his hockey games tomorrow." Oh, people constantly slamming into the boards and getting shot at, sounded very fun for my nerves.

**A/N:** I didn't have time to proof read this one, please excuse my mistakes. :)

RG


	9. Chapter 9

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Nine

When everyone arrived at the rink, Casey felt a little anxious. She didn't want anyone to get hurt and the ambulance waiting outside did not help her nerves. She'd yelp every time somebody got checked. One the other hand Derek was enjoying watching the activity so much that he didn't even notice Casey sitting beside him. Which is saying something.

"That looks so fun." Derek exclaimed after carefully observing the manoeuvres displayed by Jack. Casey's worry lines deepened.

"No way, it looks so dangerous." She said after wincing at another slam against the boards. Derek was mildly surprised at her but brushed it off, trying not to get his hopes up. Casey didn't see his face because her eyes were glued to the game, hoping no one got hurt. She'd feel terrible if there was an injury and all she did was watch for _entertainment._

"I didn't realize you cared." Derek whispered to himself mostly.

"What? Derek, your my best friend of course I care." His face dropped. '_Just a friend__'_ Derek thought, noticeably getting gloomier. Jolene pulled out her phone and texted Derek.

"(What's up, buttercup?)" He read it and gave her a weird look but she just gestured towards his screen.

"(Nothing.)" He always wondered why she had such a strange nickname for him but his phone buzzed again.

"(I ain't stupid boy, U tell me what's the matter.)" She could convey her facial expression so well through telephones that he didn't even need to look at her. He was about to send her something along the lines of (I'm trying 2 watch the game) but she added. "(Is it Casey?)"

"(What do u mean?)"

"(I know.)" He knew what she meant and began to sweat. Instead of another text, she offered him the drink and he happily accepted. "(TTYL)" The sweat left, and he felt a peculiar comfort that Jolene knew because in some way he was acceptable to her if she didn't do anything about it. Casey heard buzzing back and forth between her two companions and thought it may be questionable. _What could they be talking about? Why do I feel left out?_ Casey pondered for second before watching someone go down. And stay down.

*V*S*

"Oh my god!" I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know the guy but I felt like I should be down there helping. The coaches ran towards his cringing body and next the paramedics. They were doing some sort of test and asking him questions, reminding me of the time in the hospital. He was able to get up but the medics had to help him off the ice. The crowd cheered.

"I hope he's okay." I said feeling guilty somehow.

"Relax, he'll be fine. He got up didn't he?" Derek reassured me. He smiled and it made my heart do a little front flip. Curious.

"Hey! Derek! Tommy is out, come and sub!" Jack yelled from a distance. Derek's face lit up and he started to run to the locker rooms but I stopped him.

"Don't, you could get hurt." I pleaded.

"Aw, come on Case. Puh-lease? He said doing his begging face and putting extra emphasis on the please. I couldn't deny him his fun but he acted like I did. Did I mean that much to him?

"Fine but I'm killing you if you die." I joked making him laugh, hug me and run off excitedly in about five seconds flat. He truly was a child at heart.

Every slam was worse now because half of them were Derek's poor body being smashed into the boards. I wasn't even paying any attention to the game, I had no idea who was winning I was just keeping my eye on Derek. He was _not_ allowed to get hurt. Not while I was there.

"You seem a little on edge." Jolene muttered beside me, eating popcorn all nonchalant.

"Seeing people I know voluntarily play a game of 'beat up the weak looking one's' is not a sane activity in my book. I'm going crazy just sitting here and watching."

"Casey, you need to chill."

"It's already cold enough in here."

"I meant you need to relax, it's about who scores the most not who's got the most bruises at the end of the game."

"It still unsettles me." Jack and Derek were two of my only and best friends, any fall and they could become paraplegics.

"The game is almost over. Y'all can stop your worrying, we can see 'em soon." She said nonchalantly, again. "And 'sides they're probably having the times of their lives out there." I hoped she was right, they'll be okay. I just have to trust them.

*V*S*

"Just remember how we did it at the community centre." Jack said. What a good coach.

"No helpful advice, no 'you can do it', no inspirational speech?"

"Nope, now tie your skates correctly." I did as I was told. "You'll be fine. If the puck is passed to you just pass it or shoot it. I don't know how well you are at stick handling."

"Yes sir." I saluted him. Right when my skates met the ice, I knew hockey was my dream. When called out by Coach Nelson I did just what Jack told me to do. This were going great and I felt ready to try something more. Carlson passed to me and instead of passing to Patterson I made my way past the players on towards the goalie, handling extremely well to my surprise. I felt a strange sensation all throughout my body, like it was nothing new. My movements were fluid and the puck went where I pleased, even scoring a goal felt easy. I knew where the goalie's weak areas were. I knew how to snap shot it just enough to get it through and then I was crowded by a bunch of sweaty hockey players. It was the third period. Apparently I had just scored the winning goal.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Jack asked still on a high from the win. We all went on a celebratory dinner. By 'we' I meant the team and their girlfriends/unrequited loves.

"Wait, you mean you didn't teach him that?" Jolene asked, her arm wrapped around Jack.

"Nope."

"I don't know where it came from." I confessed.

"What that just came out of nowhere?" Jolene asked.

"I guess."

"Hey, maybe you played hockey B.A." Jack pointed out. That sounded plausible.

"Eh Derek! Wanna join the team?!" Coach Nelson yelled across the restaurant, I swear he was the most tactless man on the planet. The offer just furthered my ambition.

"Sure!" I called back unconsciously being as tactless as him.

"Your going to play again?" Casey gasped. "I don't think I could handle it."

"But you have to come, Case." She, I hoped, would someday be part of my dream.

"It's scary, at any moment I could lose you. Both of you."

"You can be my lucky charm." I offered.

"I—it's just – well." She gave up. "Okay." Dropping her head to the table, made me smile. Casey had to come to the games now. She was my lucky charm.

*V*S*

All that worrying put me to sleep as soon as I hit the bed. The only thing I could do was take off my over shirt. And pass out without even covering myself up.

When I woke up I just laid there for a while thinking about the funny feeling I got when Derek was around. It was almost like butterflies. I never experienced it before but it felt good. When Derek smiled or laughed it made me feel nice and complete. I perplexed myself with these thoughts. I might be able to change them by finding an explanation. I liked him as a friend but did I like him more? Did I love him? A very hard question. Let's say I did, that would explain the weird feelings but did I? I started to give myself a headache. I got up to go the washroom but someone was up. I heard a hushed voice coming from the living room. I caught bits and pieces.

"Shh – I think she's sleeping – I know how you feel about – I can't – Please – Okay but" Was that Jolene? Was she talking about me? "Casey, honey you awake?" She startled me and I knocked over my lamp. She came running in. "What was that, are okay?"

"I'm fine, I just knocked over my lamp." I said rubbing the back of my head, sometimes I could be so clumsy.

"Oh, my poor Casey is being a klutz again. What's on your mind?"

"Wait could you say klutz again?" My head reacted to that word with a sleepy feeling.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Klutz." I swooned a bit.

"Whoa Casey! What's the matter?" Jolene asked after she straightened me. That was really strange.

"It's that word. It makes my head feel fuzzy." I said feeling a little weary again. "Anyway what are you doing up so early?"

"I just wanted to make breakfast for you." Liar.

"It doesn't seem like you've started yet." I pointed out after looking at the pristine kitchen.

"Well I just woke up silly." She's lying but I couldn't imagine why. I'd have to let it go because my stomach growled at me. "You sound hungry." She laughed. Food always made me think of Derek and his bottomless stomach. There I went thinking of him again. I knew there was something there but I was scared to wonder what kind of relationship I had with him. Were we _just_ friends?

"Jolene." I _had_ to tell somebody.

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking.."

"Spit it out." I didn't want to but who could I talk to, Jack?

"Over the past few weeks I think I might have developed something for uh for."

"For who?"

"Um Derek." That was a lot easier than I expected.

"Really now? When did it start?" Her face lit up.

"I dunno. Maybe just yesterday maybe when I first seen him. I don't know."

"So this 'something', what is it classified as?" I had no idea. "Friendly like, more than friends like, or you know the L-word?"

"Lesbians?" I had no idea how you could lesbian someone.

"Love, ya dummy." She smiled but turned serious again. "So which one is it?"

"Um I think just the second one or it might be the last one. Ugh I dunno." I buried my head in my arms across the table. She lifted my head and didn't say anything but said so much at the same time. I could see that she approved that she was happy for me but it wasn't enough. "I don't want to lose him."

"How could you lose him?"

"Say if we were to go out, and we broke up I don't know if we could still be friends."

"You won't break up." I felt tears come to my eyes, I didn't know what to do.

"But how do you know?"

"I don't know but I know that you love him and that he doesn't entirely see you as only a friend." She hinted and winked. He liked me? Like really _liked_ me? I smiled.

"He likes me?" I stammered quietly.

"No." I looked up in surprise and felt my heart sink at her answer.

"He loves you."

*V*S*

Jolene's ring tone went off at six in the morning. Why was she calling so early?

"What's up?" I yawned into my cell.

"Shh, you might wake her up." What was she going on about?

"Who Casey? Why are you calling?"

"I think she's still sleeping." She said absently to herself.

"Why are you calling?" I repeated. "Why are you worried about Casey sleeping?"

"Well, I know how you feel about her." Suddenly I was wide awake. She said something else but I couldn't hear her, she was way too quiet when in ninja mode.

"Speak up, I can't hear a word your saying."

"I can't. I don't wanna wake her. Do you want her to know?"

"What! NO!" I almost yelled but remembered that Jack was probably catching Z's in the next room. "I don't want her to know anything, just leave it."

"You don't wanna be in the friend-zone forever, do you?" No, I didn't. "Let me talk to her. I could see how she feels-"

"No, don't. She can't know. It's embarrassing."

"Oh, please?"

"No, promise me, I know we aren't incredibly close but your still my friend. Promise me you won't tell her unless lives depend on it!"

"Okay, don't need to be so over dramatic."

"Sorry, stupid film class has got me all actor-y and weird."

"But-" Then I heard a little beep. Did she seriously just hang up on me?

"Jolene? Hey Joseph!" She did.

What a way to start the day. Rudely awoken by my best friend's girlfriend because I was in love with her roomie. Plus, I ran out of hot water in the shower because Jack got to it first. And I thought the sneaky bastard was sleeping. Speak of the devil, he walked into the kitchen looking better than I.

"Yo, practise is on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." Jack informed me before he forgot. He wrote it on his little day planner to remind him to remind me. I was in need of a man – feeling talk.

"Okay, well Jolene apparently knows my little secret."

"Isn't it a big secret?"

"It feels like it's becoming smaller and smaller everyday."

"Why what did she say?"

"She said she'd talk to her but I told her not to. It's hard enough being unrequited but to be rejected would be worse than anything."

"Don't worry buddy. She'll come around, you're doing a good job at being charming anyhow."

"Yeah I guess – wait you think I'm charming?"

"Sure, your gentlemanly." He said.

"As charming as you?" I joked.

"Let's not go _that_ far." He always did make me calm; or serene or peaceful. I wanted to use longer words in the next scene I have to do in film. My day was looking up but five minutes after Jack left. My day turned awry, when I got the dreadful text.

FROM JOLENE: (I accidentally told her. Sorry.)

TO JOLENE: (HOW do u accidentally tell someone that?!)

FROM JOLENE: (I have good news too. I'll tell u in person at the practise.)

Ah shit, it was Wednesday.

**A/N:** Casey finally figured herself out huh? I had an epiphany the other day about shoving Derek into hockey again. I hope you like it.

P.S. If your wondering what the V S is for, it means the view has been switched.

RG


	10. Chapter 10

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Ten

Being in wait was killing her. Jolene was ready for her friends to get together but were _they? _Derek couldn't speak, his face was blank and he was late for his first hockey practise but he had more important things to worry about like say his impending heartbreak or maybe even dream come true. No one could tell what was going through Casey's head. After hearing the news her face contoured into a contemplation furrow. Jolene was scared that she may have screwed up their whole group dynamic, hopefully Casey would continue her friendship with him at the very least. Jack was mostly oblivious to the onslaught of confusing emotions that plagued his friends and girlfriend. He did notice Derek's tardiness and strange spaced out state but brushed it off as nervousness for the first practise.

* V * S *

She knew. That was the only translatable thought in the disorder of my brain. She knew that I loved her. What was she going to do? Disown me as a friend? Reject me harshly? Pity me but break my heart? What if –? No she couldn't possibly. Maybe. Maybe she didn't just think of me as a friend? Maybe she loved me too? How could I answer the questions causing my massive and painful headache? Only Casey could answer them, only she could put me out of my absolute misery or shove me deeper into it. It all depended on her. Everything (like it always did) revolved around Casey, what she did, what she said, who she liked. She was the centre of my world, NO! My universe.

"Dude, hurry up we're starting." Jack informed me, making me realize everyone had already slipped into their equipment and I was just slowly and unconsciously lacing my skates whilst thinking about Casey.

"I'll be right out." I said and he left me to my thoughts (not a good thing to do). I was pulling my jersey over my head when I recalled Jolene saying she had good news. What could possibly be good news in a situation like this?

"Where are you man?" Brandon Carlson asked when we sat on the bench letting our bodies rest.

"Huh?" He was a cool dude, one of the best hockey players I had ever seen. He was a fast one and only 19. Why they let him join the team already I would never know but I seen reason in the decision to do so. Carlson was the best left winger. He flew by everyone with a cocky grin, absolutely perfect for his position because he actually was a lefty. He just wasn't the defence type I heard the coach say during one game of shinny. "Oh, just um thinking about uh a girl." I confessed.

"She likes you, Don't worry bout it." He affirmed quickly, brushing off my deepness.

"You don't even know her." I said incredulously.

"I like to think of myself as a smart guy but good looking is _your_ department my friend."

"You don't look so bad."

"Back to the point. You look like the type to think you ain't good enough for her but believe me, she likes you. If you pay her any attention that is."

"How do you know this stuff, you're just a kid?"

"I'm only two years your junior. Do you give attention to the girl?"

"All of it. What do think it is girls want?" I questioned giving up hope that I might understand them one day. Girls were too unpredictable.

"That's a stupid question." For some reason, I felt like I got that a lot but I didn't.

"Well, I'm stupid. TELL ME." I begged.

"She wants her way." How the hell did everyone know more than me?! "Just to let you know, I didn't just deduce this crap. I seen the girl I know you were thinking about, I can see it in her smile."

* V * S *

"Hon, you coming?" Jolene called towards my bedroom door. Should I go? I was scared. I didn't know how I felt which was weird because the only thing you really know is yourself right? Then how come I couldn't find out whether I liked Derek the same way? I knew there was something, when he was near I noticed myself smiling more, when he smiled mine widened, when he laughed I could feel my belly do flip flops. Was that it? Did I like him? Did I.. love him? How did I not see his true feelings? Why didn't he ever tell me? Would things be different then? How was I to determine my feelings for him? What would I say to him when I saw him next? Could I break his heart? I can answer that one. No, I could not but in a way I would because he would know it was a pity relationship. WHAT THE HELL WAS I GOING TO DO?

"Casey!" Jolene yelled yanking the tracks off my train of thoughts and halting my locomotive brain. My whole world could be changed in just an hour or so, why was she yelling at my pounding head?

"What?!" I yelled back exhausted of all my meditating and feeling bad I took it out on her.

"Are you coming or not?"

"I don't know! I want to but –"

"That's good enough for me!" She said dragging me towards the car and pushing me inside the passenger seat, forcing me to lift my brow questioningly. "I don't think you should be driving in your current state of mind."

I was nervous, stressed from all my contradicting thoughts and strangely excited. Being hauled a little roughly by a short red head all the way to a seat and being plopped onto a cold bench forcefully was the last thing on my mind but I remember it happening. I had so many doubts, I always looked at Derek as a friend, never as a man. Never as a man who could possibly be my boyfriend or future husband. But to my eternally vacillating comprehensions, it seemed right. No matter what way it went, I could see myself with Derek. I seen myself being his girlfriend and had no problem with it, which _was_ the problem because I was scared. Scared of not being good enough for him, scared I might lose him like all the other guys I dated, scared that by making that step in our relationship I might be crossing a line that I could not uncross. Then I seen him. Skating out onto the ice, oozing an inner confidence he didn't know he had, radiating with that wonderfully natural charisma, and just looking good like he always did and though I couldn't see his mop under his helmet I knew it was perfectly messy. He had such a gentlemanly and courteous charm. Every stride just furthered my choice. I knew what I wanted.

* V * S *

There I was just skating around and around the rink, then BAM! A sight hit me harder than a 200 lb, 6' defence man. Casey. Our eyes locked and I was sure our faces mirrored each other, we were both trying to read the other's mind. During my apparently failing psychic actions my feet made the executive decision to forget where to go. I slammed hard into the boards, embarrassing myself epically.

"Whoa you okay, bro?" Brandon asked after skating over and lifting my suddenly heavy body.

"Yeah, yeah." I confirmed by standing, revealing my line of sight by glancing back up into the stands. He followed and it dawned on him.

"Girl?" He asked smiling and pointing with his thumb behind him, blocking my view with his height.

"Casey."

"Just go for it, bro. What do ya got to lose?" Her, her friendship, the only person who can understand what I was going through but he did have a point. Maybe if I just told her exactly how I felt it would somehow benefit me.

"I'll try but honestly I feel like running for the hills." He didn't answer me or give me any of his helpful and youthful advice but he did give me a pat on the back that pushed me towards the others. It helped.

I stunk, no way was I going to finally confess that I was in love with my best friend all sweaty and stinking of the locker room. I showered first, using lots of soap. Put on the best smelling clothes in my locker, hesitated at the door and after waiting about a minute continued my all around difficult journey. Through the big exit for the Zamboni and around the rink to the lobby where she would be waiting. I'm sure Jolene and Jack would be there too but all I could think about was what I was going to say. How I'd say it, and hoping and praying I'd get a reaction that didn't involve being rejected and having my heart stomped on and kicked to the curb like an end of the line car that nobody wanted. Finally reaching the lobby doors, I saw Casey, she seemed to be her normal self, laughing and talking with our friends but as soon as she heard the door become ajar she spun her whole body towards me. Registering her next move. Making her excruciatingly slow venture towards me, through the crowd of hockey players made my world slow down, I felt the fleeting feeling of booking it but with those light blue orbs staring at me I was paralysed, I couldn't run. Not from her, I had to go through with it, I _had_ to tell her, everything.

* V * S *

Pretending not to be at war in my head was difficult, especially when one of the people I was talking to knew that I was. Then I heard the lobby door swing open and for the millionth time I spun to see who it was, hoping it was and wasn't Derek. It was. For a fraction of a second, I felt like fleeing but I knew it would hurt him in so many ways, it would hurt me if he did it. I trekked through the mess of men, collected myself and advanced to the now stone Derek. My heart was beating so hard I was afraid he could hear although he was still a foot away. I came to a halt and seen the emotions swimming to and fro in his eyes, his beautifully big brown eyes. All the planets must have stopped in that single moment because not one thought went through my head, only emotions flowed like water across my rocky state of mind conquering anything I could possibly think to contradict my earlier doubts. I loved him. I love Derek.

"Hi." Was all I could muster of my raw thoughtless standing. His face was red but his expression a bit more relieved. His shoulders stopped tensing and his face started to broadcast a hint of emotion making my body unclench. It was the most amazing thing to actually see him physically and mentally will himself to utter a word but not once did his intense focus stray from mine. They sent me emotions like a laser pointed at an opaque ball, I could scarcely interpret anything of the mind assault. I bet he didn't even know what he was doing to me.

"Hey." He said, making me catch my breath. It had only been a day since we talked but it felt like forever. I offered him a smile, it wasn't wide but I tried my best not to make it seem like pity because it wasn't, I was just so overwhelmed at the moment that I couldn't even think coherent thoughts or smile like how I felt. On top of the world.

**A/N:** Just to let you know, I'm incredibly sorry for the cliff hanger. I'm going to post the next chapter right away, I have the whole day tomorrow. I apologize for the previous chapter, I hope this one is better. Don't worry, that Dasey you were waiting for is next chapter. I upped my writing game for **Hermanoteu**, this one is for you. (_Even though you said it was the missing Dasey, that __made it__ faulty.)_

**P.S.** I am actually not good at all the romantic writing, this started out as just a way for me to further my writing skills but it has become kind of personal, I don't even want it to end but it will.

RG


	11. Chapter 11

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Eleven

"Derek I –," Casey started but Derek cut her off, wanting to get everything off his chest.

"No, let me go first. I'd rather be rejected _after_ I'm done." He said.

"But –," Casey tried to let him know she wasn't going to reject him, far from it.

"Shh. Just listen. I know you only see me as a friend and I don't want to lose that or you but I've known you're the one since I first laid eyes on you." He stopped to lick his lips and drop his equipment bag. "I'm tired of hiding my true f-feelings," he didn't know why he stumbled on the word, he'd been rehearsing all the way to the lobby, "I wish I was more literate because I could say it more poetically. I know you like romantic stuff but I just don't know how it works really. I can't think of a good metaphor and I have no idea what onomatopoeia means but I'm sure it's something important. The only way I know for sure how to say it is too simple but I can't wait any longer." He took a deep breath and unknowingly to Casey and Derek, the whole room went into an extreme quiet hanging off every word said. Derek felt like an idiot but he was ready to say it. "I love you, Case." Casey's eyes filled with tears, he didn't know how romantic he was being, she loved his unpoetical and clumsy way of expressing himself. But she had to know one thing, that would seal his fate with hers.

"Why?" The whole room became confused at her reaction to his beautifully sappy speech. Derek would have answered immediately if he could. Casey waited for him to say the right thing.

"I–I don't know! I just do, we don't even have much in common. I just love your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your company. I love what you don't like about yourself and what you modestly do. I–just, Ugh!" He was getting angry at himself because he just couldn't explain it. Little did he know that was just what Casey was looking for. "I just love _everything_ about you, okay? Oh god, I can't believe how many times I'm saying it." He looked down at the floor urging it to give him the answer. Derek was going to continue his sloppy pursuit of an explanation but Casey answered (in everyone's opinion) the best way possible, _without_ words. She leap swiftly into his arms and they locked lips. Derek's mind turned to jelly and he leaned in wanting to be as close as possible. Casey could feel her heart lift towards the sky and it pounded like there was no tomorrow. Their lips fit like they were made for one another and they fell into perfect synchronization. Derek wrapped his arms around Casey they finally came up for air. Then applause filled the small lobby from everyone consisting of the hockey team, their girlfriends, the janitor, and the grumpy secretary. Derek and Casey (also known as 'the love birds' by everyone present) both froze. If you had just walked in you'd think they were two statues. They had not a clue of the apparent and obvious audience watching them profess their love to each other. Their faces were so red it was inhuman.

* V * S *

"I'm never going to live this down." Derek said grabbing the counter and leaning over. He was quite a bit more attractive than I initially thought. "But I don't care." He said straightening and looking out the window with a smile.

"Really?" I asked, astonished that Derek could just _not_ care. I honestly wished I had that kind of self confidence.

"Well I got you didn't I?" He spun around with a grin.

"You sure did." I agreed pulling him towards me. I was getting addicted to his kisses. His lips were soft and he was so gentle, it made me want to... Ooh dirty thoughts, bad Casey! Bad! Not in the kitchen!

"Hey, love birds. Do you mind _not_ making love in the kitchen? I cook here." Jolene quipped, surprising us. She was a freaking ninja sometimes. Derek laughed.

"Sorry Joe." He remarked.

"Screw you. Come on Casey, we'll be on time if we leave now."

"Where are we going?" I asked raking my memory for an event.

"Maybe I forgot to tell you. Your doctor called for your check-up."

"Check-up? I thought I went to the last one two weeks ago." I pondered.

"I wish, come on I know how you just _love_ hospitals." Jolene said pushing me out the door with my jacket.

"Oh God, don't make me go in there!" I begged. We arrived at the hospital with five minutes to spare.

"Sweetie you have to get over this fear of hospitals. Hospitals Help You." Jolene said like I was an eight year old. Good news never came from hospitals, it was always people passing away and people getting sick, it was cold and disturbingly clean.

"But–." I tried but she raised her hand silencing me. I followed her in the clear doors, getting that sickening feeling my stomach already.

"Casey McDonald." Jolene said to the secretary. She grumbled a little and sifted through a few files. Her oval shaped glasses slipped down her nose and she pushed them back up roughly, then I seen a hint of happiness on her face, I assumed it was because she found my file and would be rid of us.

"Oh yes, we called you a minute ago. Step into the first room on the left." She ordered in a monotonic way, probably because she has said it a million times. We followed her demand, leaving her to her secretary-ing.

"Ah, Ms. McDonald, What a beautiful brain." My doctor said. I was confused slightly but smiled.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Please do, I have looked over your CAT scans again and it looks like your improving. Have you been eating more brain food recently?" He asked smiling. I was improving?

"Uh yeah, I really like fish anyways." I replied. How could I improve? Did it mean I was going to get my memory back? I wasn't even sure I wanted it, I was happy with my life.

"Okay, good. Look at my ear," He said while flashing a bright light in my eye, he switched to the other side. "Now this one," He instructed gesturing towards his right ear. Derek would want his memory back I thought remembering his tenacity when it came to his family. Would he change? Would he stop loving me? I didn't like hospitals, always bad news. The doctor straightened up. "Your looking pretty good." He said scanning my file again. I needed to ask.

"How have I been improving?"

"Well your brain looks better, the activity is getting higher," He said showing me the scans. "but that's understandable given the fact you have Transient Global Amnesia. It is very strange that you have it, you're so young and usually it's found in males..." He began to ramble about some medical stuff. I really didn't have a big attention span when I was in a hospital. I didn't like the way he said _males_ as if he wasn't one but I could understand. It was the way he was supposed to speak, he was a doctor. "you're a strange case Ms. McDonald, you and that other fellow. It usually only lasts a day but yours has lasted more than a month, I really don't understand," He continued. "maybe it's psychological, maybe you don't want to remember something." He wondered, sounding more and more like Sherlock Holmes and less like a neurosurgeon.

"Um thanks am I done now?" I _really _didn't like hospitals.

* V * S *

"Do you think I need another check-up?" I was curious, how often after the accident should I have gone? Would I regain my memory if I had? So many thoughts ran through my mind when I was alone. Such as: (I wonder what Jack bought at the grocery store today, hopefully chips), (When is Casey going to call?), (Where is my family?), (I'm hungry.). I _was_ hungry.

"For what? Your head?" Jack asked.

"Yeah." I confirmed, rummaging through the fridge for eats.

"I dunno, I ain't a doctor but better safe than sorry." Maybe I should have asked Casey, or Jolene she was the one who was friends with that doctor guy. I finally found something that looked edible. I crunched on our carrots and snap peas. Then I heard a grunt. I walked into the living room to find Jack laying across the floor.

"Dude, why don't you ever just relax?" I asked.

"I do." He replied.

"Sleeping doesn't count."

"Oh well what about..." He scrunched his face trying to think of something. He was standing now, with his fists on his hips. "when we play games!" He yelled suddenly giving me a heart attack.

"Geez don't do that and no it doesn't count because you're still doing something." I didn't have anything particular lined up that day. "Here I'll show you, come sit." I said patting the cushion beside me, not enough people sat when they came there. I was the only one who actually lounged around on the couches.

"Okay now what?" He asked after sitting down keeping his back as straight as a board.

"Loosen the muscles man, slouch." He did but very forced. "Now lay back and sink into the couch. He did and I seen a small smile. "And there you are, ladies and gentleman, Jack Reid knows how to relax." I announced to the window in front us, relaxing myself. The view was beautiful, the skies were blue _like Casey's eyes_ and the sun was shining _like Casey's smile_ and the warmth made me feel good _like Casey's hugs_. I didn't remember much after the warmth.

My eyes fluttered but I felt like sleeping more. So I rebelled against my body and closed my eyes. Then I felt a poke on my arm and another, like someone was making their hand walk up my arm towards my face. Then a kiss on my cheek. Who cared about my body? I could wake up like that the rest of my life. I smiled. She sat.

"When'd you get here?" I felt her head rest against my shoulder.

"Just now. Jack told me there was a sleeping beauty at his place, I guess I found you."

"pfft." I laughed. I finally opened my eyes. The view was different now, the sun turned a natural orange and sunk into the earth, hiding behind the scrawny trees. The sky was splashed with purple and magenta, the fluffy clouds reminded me of cotton candy. The best part about it was when Casey was in my peripherals or arguably when she slipped her hand in mine. "I'm never getting tired of this."

"The sight or me?" She asked not stirring so I assumed I didn't get her mad.

"Both." She nuzzled herself into my chest and put her arms around me, I rested my arm around her shoulders. "Do you think we were together before the accident?"

"I dunno, maybe."

"I'd be blind if I wasn't in love with you then too." I could feel her smile but then it stopped.

"Can you promise me something?" She whispered.

"Anything."

"If you get your memory back," She hesitated, peaking my interest. I turned my head to look at her. "you won't leave me, will you?" She asked looking me in the eyes. Her blue orbs stared right through me. I wondered why she even waited for an answer because she could already see it.

"Never." I affirmed.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Pinky swear?"

"What are we kids?" I joked to save myself a little pride making her pout but held up my pinky, making her smile again. We linked pinkies and touched thumbs, now it was official. "I can't think of what to call you." I voiced.

"What do you mean? Call me Casey."

"I mean like a pet name, everyone has pet names." I said recalling Jack and Jolene's strange nicknames. Casey got back into her position before and I rested my arm on her again pulling her closer.

"Well your my knight in shining armour." She said making my heart leap.

"Only a knight?" I complained.

"Fine, how about uh a prince? King sounds too much like a pedophile." I laughed.

"You can be my queen then." I stated.

"Ew, you make me sound old."

"Alright, alright." I looked out into the clouds trying to think of something to suit her. I seen a cloud making it's way across the skyline. It looked like a castle, duh, then I knew. "Princess." I could feel her react physically to it but I didn't know what it meant.

"Sounds good to me." She cooed, squeezing me surprisingly tight.

I cooked her dinner, which to her obvious surprise, tasted good. Those cooking classes really paid off. Alas she had to leave, we both had work in the morning.

"Goodnight sweet prince." She said, at her door. I walked her_ all_ the way up the nine steps. She grabbed my collar and jerked my lips to hers. I could totally get used to her wanting to kiss me all the time. She was a good kisser. She pulled away and shoved her keys in the lock. After stepping inside she spun around. "Call me tomorrow." She smiled.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow." I sighed.

"Wrong play."

"I know but it is so true." I said waving and walking down the steps. I was so happy to be with her but I needed more sleep. Parting _really_ was sweet sorrow.

**A/N: **My internet wasn't working all day, I was scared I might miss my due date. Just to let you know, I did post this on Thursday. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I enjoyed writing it. I really like this one.

RG


	12. Chapter 12

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Twelve

Casey was getting crowded at her shared apartment, Jack was always _visiting_, she found herself staying over at Derek's more and more often. Derek loved having her over, _how was it possible to have a bad day waking up next to Casey?_ Casey didn't mind staying at Derek's but she felt like a guest all the time. Weeks past and neither Derek or Casey bothered to discuss their living arrangements despite both wanting to have something more permanent. Derek was ready for Casey to live with him, he was making more money because of his hockey scholarship, and he could better support her. Hockey was becoming a big part of his life, he lived and breathed it. Casey on the other hand was scared of the commitment, she thought maybe she'd reveal something about herself and it would make Derek want to leave. She didn't want to scare him away but she could see that he was ready to take that next step. He _did_ promise not to leave her...

* V * S *

I arrived at the police station, much like I did every Friday. I was looking for information, any little detail about the remains of the accident that might point me in the right direction. I needed to find them, I could have a dad, a mom, siblings. Oddly enough, I missed them, even if I couldn't remember them, I just wanted to know where I came from, who I was before. I strolled up to the information desk and found Bradley, the man I talked to about the wreckage.

"Ah, Mr. Venturi! I'll just cut right to the chase, we found the license plate on your vehicle, the one you crashed in. It reads, 367 DDD, Ontario. Yours to discover."

"Pardon?"

"Yours to discover, it's the little thing each province puts on their license plates. Here it's Wild Rose Country, in BC it's Beautiful British Columbia, in Saskatchewan it's Land of the living skies but I digress. The point is: you are originally from Ontario." This changed everything. I knew where to look now. I might be able to find them!

"Thanks! This helps so much!" I could hug the damn fool but it would be weird so I didn't. I finally walked out of the station with some answers. The only thing troubling me was, _where do I start? What about Casey?_ Casey. She didn't want to find her family but that didn't mean she wouldn't support me finding mine, would it? I decided I was going to look for them in the summer, when hockey was done and I finished my classes. I would go from town to town, looking for the Venturi's. Hopefully somebody would recognize me, that would make it more simple. Yes! I was finally on my way to finding them!

* V * S *

"You know it's going to be summer in a few months." I said, trying again to bring up vacation.

"It doesn't seem like it." He said shivering. Canada only has two seasons, winter and construction/summer.

"Well there are lots of places that are warmer." I hinted.

"What are you saying?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. I gave up.

"Do you wanna go on vacation this summer?" He looked at me like he never even thought of it, and he probably didn't. Then twisted his mouth, telling me he was thinking.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You guess? You really don't want to go anywhere?"

"Well I do it's just," He seemed to be having a small internal battle.

"Just what?" I asked.

"Nothing." He was being mysterious.

"Derek." I warned.

"Okay, fine. I wanted to go look for my family, okay?" His words stopped me. How could I not see he was still hurting? He was lost without them but I didn't want him to find them. I didn't want him to be disappointed if they turned out to be, well not so nice. We kept walking towards our bar-by _our_ I mean Derek, Jack and Jolene-'Tequila'. I grabbed his hand and gave up trying to be strong without my family, I squeezed his warm, calloused hand tightly.

"Okay." I whispered, leaning in. He stopped and gave me a look I was all too familiar with. His admiration look, it really made me feel like the most important person in the world when he gave me that face, he gave it often and as reward to small things like switching the TV to sports when he sits beside me or bringing home take-out from his favourite restaurant. There I went referring to his place as home again.

"Thanks." He hugged me, making me feel like the worst girlfriend in history. But I couldn't worry about that with his arms around me, I loved his hugs they weren't tight but made you feel safe, and not hot but his warmth made you feel like sleeping in his arms. We continued our trek, slightly happier for different reasons.

* V * S *

We arrived on time. The music was good and the food was fast, we were having a great time. Jack talked about the kids he was working with at the daycare, Jolene went on about some school stuff and Casey started to chat about the music playing.

"Gosh, I love this song." Casey said.

"'Gosh'? really Casey? But this is a good singer." Jolene agreed.

"Yeah which reminds me, just yesterday we went 365 days without an accident at the garage and _I_ got tickets to see Alicia Keys," He knew I wouldn't want to go, it was just too girly, so he looked at me when he added. "Four tickets." Of course Casey's reaction would be.

"Yay! _We_ can come right?" Casey squealed hugging his arm.

"Of course you can!" Jolene said in the same tone, hugging Jack's other arm. He was enjoying himself, while I felt the embarrassment already melting into my face for having to go to it.

"She's going to be in Toronto in a couple of weeks."

"Wait. Toronto, Ontario?" I asked feeling more excited.

"Yeah why?" Jack asked, clearly not seeing why I had become more excited of the concert.

"Case, I need to talk to you." I said, grabbing her arm and quickly dragging her off into a more secluded booth. "I've been going to the police station for help with my search and just last today they found a beat up license plate and when they inspected it further they found where it's from. Ontario."

"That's great but why don't you want to talk about this in front of our friends?" Why did she just have to notice that? She crossed her arms, no way I was getting outta this one.

"Well because it's not really _their_ business and because I don't want to feel their pity."

"Oh Derek, they won't pity you, they'll respect your decision to find your family."

"I'm scared I might seem desperate because I still don't know who I am." She didn't reply, she reached across the table and squeezed my hand making me feel ten times better. "That's where I was planning to go for the summer, to try to find them." I confessed, realizing it sounded kind of stupid out loud.

"Well we can start in Toronto." She smiled. Thank god, for my princess.

* V * S *

Derek really wanted to find his family, I could see he was still lost. He was a child trying to find his parents and if he wanted to, I wanted to. He was never going to do anything alone, I was here for him. I knew he was there for me too. I was happy, finally.

Derek loved hockey, that much was clear. Whenever people brought it up I could see that little light turn on behind his eyes, his smile looked happier and his excitement radiated from his body. It was subtle but I could see it. I was touched he called me his lucky charm, I felt special like I was apart of the team, like I was helping somehow by just being there. I didn't like the roughness especially when Derek and Jack were being shoulder checked but I watched anyways, feeling slightly at ease as a spectator, as if my presence would urge them from harm. Jolene rudely interrupted my thoughts by sending me a text.

FROM JOLENE: (Game's almost started. Where R U?)

TO JOLENE: (I'm walking out the door CYA there)

The traffic was rough, I already missed the singing of the national anthem. Derek would totally notice if I wasn't there. I could feel that worry of not being able to see that he was alright. My phone kept buzzing every two seconds and I just knew it was Jolene doing her speedy fingers, why she never just called? I'll never know. Hopefully she would cover for me, I didn't want him to be distracted from the game, you really need to pay attention when playing hockey. So many big players skating by you, so many changes in direction and so many scuffles trying to get the puck or ball or whatever. He needed his head, I prayed Jolene would give it to him. _I'm almost there, don't worry._ I told myself and Derek.

* V * S *

Casey wasn't there. I looked up into the reserved sections like I always did and I couldn't find her. I seen Jolene doing a chicken like dance I could only assume was some game of charades I honestly didn't want to play. I know she isn't there, don't give me your MJ dance or whatever that last move was. Carlson just passed me the puck. I needed to focus! Why was she late? NO, FOCUS! One last time I scanned the crowds, hoping to find her but the brick wall that just slammed into my face kind of distracted me.

"Holy shit! Derek, you okay?" Brandon asked skating towards me quickly. Shit, that dude's fast.

"Yeah, I think so. My shoulder kind of hurts though." I said, accepting his help of getting up. The crowd cheered and it freaked me a bit, I always forgot about them first thing. Brandon escorted me to the benches.

"That was a mighty fall, Derek." Jack commented.

"You're telling me? Man, my shoulder hurts." I tried to move it some and it didn't feel right. I wasn't going to risk further injury. "Yo, Coach!"

"Yeah Venturi?"

"I think somethings wrong with my shoulder."

"Fuck, okay. Go to the locker room, take off your equipment, I'll get a medic to come look at you." I did what I was told.

"We need to take you to the hospital." The medic dude said. He just finished feeling me up, now he herded me towards the ambulance. Casey needed to know! I looked for my cell but couldn't find it. I must have left it at home. Oh no, she was going to freak! Casey was such a worry worm, if she found out before I could tell I was find she'd flip! The sound of the sirens whaling ripped me from my thoughts. Nothing I could do now.

**A/N:** Holy crap, I'm so freaking sorry! If you could possibly believe me, I was sick! Seriously. I still am, I should really go see a doctor or something. I mean if I die, this story will never get finished! I broke a promise, most unforgivable of me _but_ forgive me? _PLEASE?_ Hope you like the chapter, I'm not _too_ proud of it...


	13. Chapter 13

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Thirteen

Casey arrived at the stadium, relaxing slightly. She noticed the ambulance flying by and got a sinking feeling in her stomach. _That better not be Derek_, she thought. Jolene was biting her nails, Derek didn't come back onto the ice since his fall. Casey was running toward the locker room when Jolene called out flailing her arms, desperately trying to get her attention.

"Where's Derek?" Casey asked, the concern evident on her face. Jolene considered not telling her but knew Casey would eventually squeeze it out of her. Jolene met her half way down the stands, and spilled about the hit he took and how he didn't come back yet. Casey's blue eyes widened, the ambulance, Derek gone... The next thing she knew she was speeding down the road to the nearest hospital, hoping she wasn't right.

Derek emerged from the ambulance and was rushed inside for an X-ray. He waited with a sickly looking woman and a teenage couple, in the waiting room for his results.

"Come with me sir." A nurse said, a smile plastered to her face like drywall. He followed her to a room, a doctor greeted him.

"Hello, Mister Venturi. How are we feeling? Are you light headed at all?"

"No, it's just my shoulder."

"Good, well then. You seem to have fractured your clavicle, it isn't too serious but we will need to do surgery. If you will please remove your clothing and change into this. We will get started right away here." He handed him an extremely ugly and uncomfortable looking green apron thingy. Hearing the commotion, the doctor left Derek to see who was making such a fuss.

* V * S *

He has to be alright! It can't be him. I sprinted towards the emergency doors and found myself in the waiting room. The nurse at the desk, jumped up at my arrival.

"May I help you?" She asked her eyebrow raising slightly.

"Is he here?! He can't be here! Is Derek Venturi in this hospital?" I said quickly.

"Please calm down, I can't understand you." How can I possibly calm down?

"No! Listen, my Derek is hurt – the ambulance and he – Jolene – he's all I got – I couldn't." My mind was filled with too many thoughts, I couldn't breathe. I just blurted nonsense and let the hands put me in a seat.

"Are you alright?" A man asked, according to his attire and stethoscope I assumed he was a doctor. I felt a little woozy but remembered my previous task.

"Where's Derek? Is he okay?" The doctor smiled.

"He's fine my dear, just a fracture. How are you feeling? You've been resting here for a while."

"Just a fracture?! He's hurt? He's _here_?" I needed to get my head on straight. The doctor smiled again, and put his hand on my shoulder, it stopped my body from shaking. If only it worked on the mind too. A nurse came in and I stood up. "Is he okay?" She nodded but I only felt half normal, I still wanted to see him. NO, I _needed_ to see him. As if reading my mind, they escorted me to a room. In the room was a plant, creepy hospital blinds on the window and a bed. In the bed was Derek, he looked peaceful and the steady beep of the heart monitor put my stomach at ease. His eyes opened and he grinned.

"Hey princess."

"Are you sure everything is okay?" I asked.

"Yes, the surgery went well and as I said before it is only a minor fracture, it probably didn't even feel too painful."

"It didn't. Case, you gotta calm down. I'm fine see." He waved his other arm around like a lunatic.

"Okay fine but you really scared me. Jolene didn't know where you went and when I seen the ambulance speeding down the road I sorta panicked."

"I was just sitting in the back, laughing at jokes that medic guy kept telling." Oddly enough that made me feel way better. I took a deep breath. _He's fine, he is right in front of you for Christ's sake!_ I mentally scolded myself.

"I hate hospitals."

* V * S *

I didn't see what the big deal was at first but after we went home and Jack and Jolene left, I thought about it. What if something had happened to Casey? How would _I_ react?

"I think I understand." I said across the table, Casey was sipping her sleepy time tea. Her eyes flickered my way but she turned her eyes out the window.

"Understand what?" I followed her gaze, the sky was clear that night, the stars shined and flickered like the twinkle in Casey's eye when she wanted to get...intimate.

"Why you freaked out."

"I didn't freak out, I was concerned."

"You freaked out but I get it," she finally looked at me, she knew what I was thinking but it needed to be said anyway, "if anything happened to you I tear up the whole city looking for you, you're all I've got besides Jack, and I guess Jolene too."

"I know, sorry for being such a freak."

"What? Don't apologize, you're my freak," and I thought about it for a second, "and I'm your freak." I smiled, knowing I sounded like an idiot. She laughed.

"You Are _So_ Romantic."

"Only for you." I smirked.

"Oh god."

The sweet smell of breakfast wafted into my room. The glorious humming of a goddess echoed in my ears. Delicate fingers gently walked up my good arm like legs and honey sweet lips lightly brushed against mine. I lifted my head trying to continue the kiss but she pulled away and giggled.

"Rise and shine!" She sang and jerked the blankets off. I groaned.Why did she just _have_ to be a morning person? "Take a shower, breaky is almost ready." I finally opened my eyes, the sun was rising and the orange light illuminated the room. Casey stood by the bed grinning.

"Okay, why are you so giddy today?" She titled her head to the side with her eyebrows furrowed, it made her look super cute even if she was 21 years old.

"I'm always like this in the morning."

"Not this much." Her smile came back and she pushed me towards the bathroom door.

"I'll tell you once you're done, you stink." What was she up to?

* V * S *

While I was cooking breakfast, a thought hit me. Derek's injury was the perfect excuse to move in with him! Not that I needed one but still, I was scared of the commitment before. But when I thought I might lose him I lost my mind. I needed to be closer to him and plus now I get to be his personal nurse because of his fracture. I could hear his get out of the shower, so I got his plate ready. Then another thought hit me. What if _he_ was afraid of commitment too? Why did I always doubt my decisions?

"Mm, smells good."

"I made some chocolate ones."

"Oh, that sounds good." Then I felt him wrap his arm around me, his other one was in a sling. "Good morning." He whispered in my ear, giving me shivers. I knew he felt it because he chuckled a bit. I leaned into him a little, still afraid I might break him.

"Morning, my prince." I whispered back, making _him_ shiver. Why he liked my saying his nicknames I'd never know. He laughed again and sat at the table but I realized he couldn't eat with his left. I spun around. He was sitting there with a small frown but I knew exactly how to make him feel better. I pulled a chair close to him and cut his pancake and fed it to him. He smiled. "Do you like them?" I asked cutting some more pieces. He sighed.

"They'll do." I raised my eyebrow. "Whoa, deja-vu."

"Yeah, me too." It felt like we did this before.

"Other than that, your pancakes are awesome." He said as I fed him more. He was definitely enjoying himself. "I could get used to this."

"You better." I said, catching his attention. He swallowed the rest of his bite, making me think he was afraid of the commitment.

"What do you mean?" His eyebrow quirked up, like he really didn't know. Maybe he didn't.

"That thing I wanted to talk to you about, why I was extra happy today," he leaned in, and I suddenly got shy, "I was thinking since you got hurt and all, maybe I should stay here more often, like uh a little more permanent." I looked into my lap then back up at him, hoping for acceptance. I found him grinning from ear to ear, the relief washed over me.

"Of course! I was thinking of asking you to move in even before my little fall. I love you, Case. Now if you don't mind, a few bites isn't going to cut it for my gut your cooking is just too delicious." I couldn't contain my happiness, even if he tried to cover up the fact that he said 'I love you' for the second time.

"I love you too." His head jerked up when the words left my lips, it was the first time _I_ said it but he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. He just stared into his lap and smiled to himself. It was cute even if he was 21 years old.

**A/N:** The cation says to the anion, 'I think I lost an electron.' and the anion says, 'Are you sure?' and the cation said 'I'm positive'. I seriously laughed my head off (figuratively), when I first heard this joke. (Yup, I'm _that_ lame). Hope you liked this chapter, and I hope you loved my joke. :)

RG


	14. Chapter 14

**Keep in Mind**

Chapter Fourteen

A week after Derek's hockey injury things went back to the _new_ normal. Casey stopped treating Derek like he might shatter into a million pieces, Jack resided at Jolene's apartment, and Jolene picked up where she left off in her cook book, challenging herself to make every dish before the fast approaching concert in Toronto.

Jolene was studying for her final but enjoying the concluding classes for cooking. She was content about deciding to be serious with her relationship with Jack, being completely honest with herself she knew she was just waiting for the right guy. All her worries of regretting the commitment vanished when she was with him.

Jack was happy, with pretty much everything. His multiple jobs didn't overwork him, his volunteer hours were extra fulfilling, and he was with a very beautiful woman. He was looking forward to spending all summer with her, not to mention the concert, despite what Derek might think he really did like Alicia Keys.

Casey wanted alone time with Derek, she loved her friends but with the road trip and the concert coming up, she would enjoy a night out with _just_ Derek. Sure they spent days at home, with each other but it wasn't the same as getting fancy for a fancy restaurant with fancy foods. She wanted to declare to the world that Derek was hers clad in formal apparel.

Derek was relieved that the worry about his injury was over but still felt like it wouldn't really stop until he was fully healed. He was anxious about going to Toronto.

* V * S *

Everyone was finally treating me like a normal person again. It took them a week but they stopped acting like I was a child and making me feel incredibly useless. Casey was doing everything! The cooking, the dishes, the shopping, the cleaning and even washing our clothes! What kind of boyfriend lets his girlfriend do that? Not me! But I quickly realized it was better that way because when I tried (and I _really_ tried) to help with the chores and ended up making a bigger mess, that Casey had to clean up. Simple things were more difficult to do without the use of my right arm. Such as writing, which Casey had to do for me. Studying I could do, although I had to flip pages and such with my left arm, my final was coming soon. Putting on clothes, Casey had to help me with that too but _seriously_ I wasn't complaining. And buttons! Buttons and zippers went from being friendly fastening tools to being my arch enemies. Speaking of enemies...

"Case, can you-" I began.

"Got it." She interrupted, tying my shoe laces. It was hard not to feel like a kid when she did things like that.

"Thanks."

"No problem." She said, then looking at my head. "You need a haircut already." She messed up my 'do' by combing her fingers through my hair. "What's this?" She asked suddenly, breaking me from my unsurprisingly dog-like reaction to her petting. When she touched the scar, just below my hairline slightly hidden behind my left ear, my time in the hospital came flowing back into my mind like a river of memories.

_The worst part was not knowing- well anything really. I didn't know what happened, what was happening, where I was or even who I was. The names __were__ fuzzy. But I remember the eyes of everyone, green, brown, hazel, brown again, and then blue. The emerald eyed doctor, that kept asking me questions I didn't know the answer__s__ to. The brown eyed nurse whose emotions were locked deep within her pupils. The hazel eyed __paramedic__ whose job was __merely to transport gurneys. The other brown eyed nurse who stitched up my scar. And then blue. Like the sky reflected in the ocean, a __refreshment from the grey scenery outside the window. Blue who could understand everything I was going through but decided we were strangers. I didn't know who she was but deep down, I felt like maybe I did. It could have been the lives we had before, or maybe it was just because of the accident we shared but far from my conscience all the way down in my subconscious mind I knew she was special. Although, the cold distance reserved for the thorn bush __of memories__ was all I felt for my time at the hospital, __within that bush obscured by the smell of cleaning products and the green walls, was a flower._

Without words or even a meaningful look she knew I wasn't ready to talk about it just yet. We left for what was supposed to be a romantic dinner between me and Casey but knowing our friends we couldn't count on that.

* V * S *

"Seriously, you guys are stalkers." We always seemed to bump into Jack and Jolene during a date, then they would invite us over and it would turn into another one of our strange friend-dates. Some of us would be hanging out being buddies and having typical buddy chats but then our partners would also be there and then the conversation veered off of the road of odd, and plummeted into extremely dysfunctional. But astonishingly we made it work.

"Come sit! We were just about to order." Jolene said, she looked really good in that elegant black dress.

"But we- fine." I couldn't say no to Jolene, she seemed emotional.

Not to say we weren't having a good time but I sensed a tension from Jolene, like she really needed to talk about something. I couldn't tell if it was good or bad news, I stunk at that part.

"Hey Casey, remember how our periods are synchronized?" Odd thing to bring up in front of the boys, especially Derek. I mean Jack's siblings are all girls, I think he was one of the middle children so he was okay with talking about, well, womanly matters.

"Of course." I said, like it was something completely normal to be talking about in public.

"Dude, I think that's our clue to leave." Derek said after clearing his throat rather loudly.

"Na, I'm cool bro- Ah!" Jack was interrupted by Derek's tug on his arm. They left to the bar.

"What's up?" I asked. Her face showed know emotion at all, unlike the past few days. It scared me, _what was she going to say? _I gulped.

"I'm late."

* V * S *

"Hey um, Jack." I cleared my throat, _why was this so hard to say?___"can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I'm looking for my family." He looked confused. _Was it so weird?_

"Um why are you telling me this? I just assumed you would be. Isn't that normal?"

"I guess but Casey isn't so, I don't know if it is an automatic reaction to what happened to us."

"Wait, Casey _isn't_ looking for her family? That's strange."

"Yeah I know! I mean, I feel like I have a responsibility to who I was, you know? Just to let my family know I didn't die or something.-" I went on explaining how Casey didn't want to disappoint them and what exactly happened at the hospital. A weight was lifted off my shoulders, talking about my plan to find the Venturi's made me feel better. It was like I was wearing a belt around my chest and it loosened a few notches. I could breathe easier around Jack now and knowing his blabbermouth I wouldn't even have to tell Jolene.

* V * S *

"What are you saying?" I didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"I think I-I, I might be um-"

"Pregnant?" She couldn't even speak. She nodded but I didn't know if I should congratulate her or console her. She was staring at her lap. I couldn't pick up on her reaction to it. "what are you going to do?" At the question, she looked up and her eyes watered.

"I don't know." I never seen Jolene like this, she seemed so vulnerable, so scared.

"What's wrong?" She was worrying me, _were there complications?_ "What are you afraid of?"

"Jack. I don't want to lose him, what if this scares him away? What if this ruin things between us? I don't want to go through this alone." She was just at the edge of crying, her voice was breaking. I didn't know how to console someone in this situation, I couldn't think of anything to do that might make her feel better. But I knew I needed to ask something.

"He's the one, isn't he?" She smiled a little. Okay I was on the right track.

"Yeah."

"Well, if he's the one for you..Don't you think you're the one for him too?" I reached across the table to hold her hands. "You're thinking about all the wrong things. Come on, this is Jack we're talking about he's probably already prepared." She laughed a little but her tears didn't seem to be entirely gone. "Even if he isn't with you through this, which I highly doubt, he's responsible _and_ reliable. Plus, you'll have me and Derek to help you out but seriously, Jack loves babies." Her smile widened just a bit looking hopeful so I released her hands, she didn't need that kind of support anymore, she needed to hear a story.

"He does?"

"Oh yeah," I wasn't just lying to make her feel better, he really did. "just recently, we went for a jog together because Derek couldn't go, and a little girl, she was around two or three years old was crying for some reason. Anyways when we passed her and her parents, Jack tripped on a rock making the girl laugh, we spent the next half hour chatting with the couple and playing with their daughter. And you know Jack, he made quick friends, and recommended his daycare to them and I think he even offered to look at their car or something, well they exchanged numbers for some reason." Now she looked relaxed. Relived even. After a pause she asked.

"I have to tell him don't I?" I offered her a smile and laughed.

"Obviously."

"What's so obvious?" Jack asked returning with Derek by his side.

"Do you want some privacy?" I asked Jolene.

"No, no it's okay-" she took a deep breath, "Jack, I need to tell you something." He looked over at me but his attention was back on Jolene within a second. "Maybe you should sit down."

"W-why?" He looked at Derek and me again but returned his focus to his girlfriend. She smiled.

"I'm pregnant." Jack's jaw dropped. He froze but quickly shook himself from it.

"I'm gonna be a dad?" She nodded. Even though I didn't doubt him, I was holding in my breath. "I'm g-g-" I guess he couldn't hold in his smile or his excitement and apparently needed everyone to know. He turned around and got everyone's attention with his loud finger whistle. "I'm going to be a dad!" He yelled triumphantly, we all applauded. Jack hugged Jolene, lifted her up and spun around. Somehow during the excitement, and congratulating, and hugs and kisses, I started crying. Happy tears. I was so happy I needed to cry but I didn't feel weird because Jolene was doing the same thing. Derek and Jack shook hands obviously trying not to do what we were doing. I hugged Jolene, and Jack, and Derek, I'm a hugger. I couldn't be happier for them.

"You two are going to be awesome parents." They both engulfed me with a group hug, I supposed they needed to hear that.

* V * S *

"Congrats again man." I said giving Jack a man hug. "And keep in mind,"

"What?"

"How much I'll spoil your kid if you name him after me."

"Derek, it could be a girl." Jolene laughed.

"Come on babe, we have to keep our options open. Just think, babysitters for life." Jack said. Casey laughed and when we headed to our car, she waved goodbye.

"I love those guys." She said.

"So do I."

"Not to kill the mood but do you want to talk about-" I knew what she was going to say.

"I guess." I interrupted her, she didn't mind she just began to get ready for bed. She undid her hair, letting it fall. "The first thing I remember is the lights-" we went into the bathroom to brush our teeth, I don't know why we had to do it together but we did. "at first I thought it was just one light turning off and on but when I opened my eyes I realized it was a series of lights-" I started brushing and in between brushing and spitting I told her about my first three minutes in the hospital because it was the most clear, everything else was kind of blurry. "For five seconds I was just confused and tried to figure out where I was but when-" I brushed a little and spit. "when they realized I was awake, they started asking questions and telling me where I was, annoying me with the repetition but getting me mad because I couldn't even answer the questions." I flossed and we made our way back into the room. "but when they stopped asking me questions, I got scared because I didn't know who I was, I didn't know anything. Then everything is just foggy, when they stitched me up, watching the TV for hours, eating the disgusting food but then when they let me outside. I met you." I was in bed while Casey listened and brushed her hair. She smiled. "what about you?"

"Um, I don't really remember that much until after I was stitched up and everything," She lifted her pyjama shirt revealing a big scar beside her belly button. And I just happened to not notice til now. "Just that when I did wake up, I was in a lot of pain. Then after I was healed enough to stay awake more than a few minutes, I had this moment with a nurse." She laid in bed. "She soothed me, it was nice because I knew that I was supposed to remembering things but I wasn't. Thankfully she convinced the doctor to let me go for a walk outside. That's when I met you, staring at the sky, it looked like your head was in the clouds. Being outside made me feel loads better and talking to you helped too." We understood that nothing more needed to be said. We cuddled underneath the blankets. Yes, I cuddle.

**A/N:** It's been a while. I had a little case of writers block but I'm over it now, so don't worry. I just didn't know how to write this chapter, it kept coming out wrong. When I was halfway done, I was like WTF this isn't what I wanted, so I started over. Hopefully you like it, I know I do.

RG


End file.
